1 00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:33,754 WOMAN: There are two different ways of getting into a swimming pool. 2 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:36,724 The first way, you take your toe... 3 00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,659 And you carefully test the water's temperature. 4 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:43,364 And if that feels okay, slowly get into the water, 5 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,899 letting your body adjust to the cold. 6 00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:50,738 Then there's the second way of getting into a pool. 7 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,473 Ah! WOMAN: You jump. 8 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,809 That's me, Mary Katherine Gallagher. 9 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,978 It's nice to meet you. (CHUCKLES) 10 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:02,316 Okay. Now, they say that God works in mysterious ways. 11 00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:04,618 And in my case, very mysterious. 12 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,921 Anyway, this is my story, and you should pay attention 13 00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:09,590 'cause it's starting right now. 14 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:16,864 Mmm. 15 00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:29,977 (COUGHING) 16 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,912 Are you all right? 17 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,714 Yeah, I'm fine. (COUGHING) 18 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:36,917 Your birthmark looks like shit. 19 00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,753 So, you're okay? 20 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:40,988 Yeah. 21 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,857 Lifeguard! (LAUGHS) 22 00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,426 Ah! 23 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:50,531 MARY: I grew up in a little town called Besamee Heights. 24 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,301 It's this really friendly place 25 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:54,802 where everyone likes to say, "Hi." 26 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,670 MAN: Hi, there. WOMAN: Hi, neighbor. 27 00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:59,473 MARY: I grew up in what people called the ugliest house, 28 00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,975 with the ugliest lawn and the ugliest dog. 29 00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,044 (GROWLS) 30 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,414 (SQUEALING) 31 00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,916 MARY: My mom and dad died in this horrible accident when I was a baby, 32 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,784 so my grandmother took care of me. 33 00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:13,387 And my grandmother was in an accident, too. 34 00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,389 Actually, most of my family had gotten hurt at some point. 35 00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:17,925 We're sort of accident prone. 36 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:18,959 (GROANS) 37 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:23,331 I'm off. 38 00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,765 MARY: Now, my grandmother used to always say that when I grow up, 39 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,467 I should become a businesswoman. 40 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:30,003 But I didn't really think about business, 41 00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:32,773 mostly because I couldn't stop thinking about the one thing 42 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:36,043 that I wanted more than anything in the world. 43 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:40,781 A kiss. A big Hollywood fireworks type of kiss. 44 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,784 So each night before I went to bed, 45 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:46,019 I would pray for God to help me. 46 00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:49,723 And please, God, send me someone to make out with 47 00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,925 and tongue kiss like this. 48 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,995 (SLURPING) 49 00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:58,766 Then one day while me and my grandmother 50 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,835 were watching some old movie, it hit me. 51 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:05,439 There was only one way I'd ever get what I wanted. 52 00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:07,775 I would have to become exactly like those people 53 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,110 I saw getting kissed in the movies. 54 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,879 I would have to become... 55 00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:13,547 A superstar. 56 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:20,354 Ooh, ah. 57 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,628 (SINGING AVE MARIA) 58 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,572 MARY: This is St. Monica's. 59 00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:40,007 It was the first place I really thought 60 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,610 I had a chance of making my dream come true. 61 00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:45,646 (RECITING THE LORD'S PRAYER) 62 00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,584 (WHISPERING) Superstar! 63 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:53,821 Amen. 64 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,055 WOMAN: Shh. 65 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,459 Sorry. 66 00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:04,432 MARY: So I tried out for every star-making activity that St. Monica's offered. 67 00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:05,833 Higher. Higher. Like ballet. 68 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,035 (GRUNTS) Ooh! Oh. 69 00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:11,905 MARY: And my gymnastics tryout didn't go very well either. 70 00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,807 (WHISTLE BLOWS) (GRUNTS) 71 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,376 Whoa! 72 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:34,194 (GIRLS LAUGHING) 73 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:38,198 MARY: Evian Graham, the most beautiful, most popular, 74 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:41,001 most bulimic girl at St. Monica's. 75 00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:44,104 Summer, Autum, I need your help. 76 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,506 Yes, Evian? Yes, Evian? 77 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:49,209 We could either organize a walkathon to fight multiple sclerosis, 78 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,945 or a bike-athon to fight polio. 79 00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:52,913 What'll it be? 80 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:53,981 ALL: Hmm? 81 00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:56,617 MARY: All the boys liked her, 82 00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,786 I think because she had a nice body. 83 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,492 (GIRLS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY) 84 00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:07,160 Ah. What are you looking at, boobsweat? 85 00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,562 Nothing. 86 00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:10,631 It's called a bra, Mary. 87 00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:12,833 But don't worry. You'll never need one. 88 00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:15,636 (GIRLS LAUGH) 89 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,139 (SNAPS) 90 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,941 Ah! Ow! 91 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,510 You hurt my titty. 92 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:23,544 I'm sorry. 93 00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:26,514 You had a little spot there on your brassiere, 94 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,215 and I was just trying to... 95 00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,083 Wipe it off. 96 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:30,984 I'm sorry. 97 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,588 MARY: I got this after-school job 98 00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:37,157 at Kip's Video Warehouse as the rewind girl. 99 00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:42,563 So that I could study as many superstars as possible. 100 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,998 I thought the more movies I watched, 101 00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:46,767 the more they'd rub off on me, 102 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,268 and people said that they did. 103 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,137 Especially movies like Carrie, 104 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,940 starring academy award winner, Sissy Spacek. 105 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:57,878 (DOG GROWLING) (MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV) 106 00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:04,051 What are you doing? 107 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,753 I'm using my telekinesis 108 00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:08,656 to kill the girl who threw pig's blood on me at the prom. 109 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:11,759 Okay. 110 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,196 MARY: Kip also had those made-for-television movies which I love. 111 00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:18,932 Father, forgive me for I have sinned. 112 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,035 It has been two days since my last confession. 113 00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:26,239 Go ahead. Tell me your sins, my child. 114 00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,576 Father, my sins would best be expressed 115 00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:31,945 in a monologue from the made-for-TV movie Sybil, 116 00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:32,946 starring the young Miss Sally Field 117 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:35,549 as a woman with multiple personality disorder. 118 00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:37,184 Go ahead. 119 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:39,687 Ah, look at you, 120 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,189 my pretty little girl, 121 00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:45,158 sitting there with her face all painted up 122 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,660 and a little halter top. 123 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,862 You're nothing but a little slut. 124 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:53,166 Don't call me that. I'm a Puerto Rican lady, senor. 125 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,670 We all know you're a slut, Sybil Anne Dorsett. 126 00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:58,706 We know you're a little slut. 127 00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:00,841 No, I'm not! I'm not a slut! 128 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,210 I'm not a slut! I'm not a slut! 129 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:07,815 I'm not a slut! I'm not a slut! I ain't no slut! 130 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,718 (CONGREGATION MURMURING) 131 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,955 Sorry. Sorry. 132 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:18,091 (MUTTERING) 133 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,593 I'm not a slut. 134 00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:26,166 No big deal. 135 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:28,168 MARY: The more I kept trying to become a superstar, 136 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,270 the less they thought I was one. 137 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,373 In fact, they had all these other names for me. 138 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,642 Hey, lesbo. 139 00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:38,812 Dogface. Panty stain. 140 00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:41,314 And they also called me... BOY: Skid mark. 141 00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,382 GIRL: Nipple hair. 142 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,117 Lame. Loser. 143 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:45,218 Did I say lesbo? 144 00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:49,122 Are you aware that I am rubber and you are glue, 145 00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:51,024 and everything that you say to me 146 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,593 bounces off of me and sticks to you? 147 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:59,867 So put that in your back pocket. Okay. 148 00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,804 (MURMURING) 149 00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:08,308 (GASPS) 150 00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,778 MARY: And then I saw the one who I wanted to kiss. 151 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:14,347 SKY: Sam, what's up? Hey, Greg. 152 00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,749 Dig the sneaks. Thanks. 153 00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:17,350 Debbie, shaved your legs. 154 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,119 Hey, Tom, sorry your dad's dead. 155 00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:20,688 MARY: It was him. 156 00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:23,190 Sky Corrigan. 157 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:26,159 The best guy dancer in the school. 158 00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:27,828 (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 159 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:28,896 * Don't stop it 160 00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:31,264 I call this one the pepper mill. 161 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,666 * Don't stop, Don't stop it * 162 00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,302 Enjoy. 163 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,104 * Don't, Don't, Don't, Don't stop it * 164 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:42,275 Uh-oh. Is that the prettiest girl in all of St. Monica's? 165 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,277 (CHUCKLES) 166 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:48,315 All signs point to "yes." (CHUCKLES) 167 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,918 SKY: I bet you put that cherry lip gloss on just for me. 168 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,452 Shut up. You shut up. 169 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,287 No, you shut up. 170 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,689 Make me shut up. 171 00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,424 Okay. 172 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,330 SKY: I like sugar. 173 00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:05,966 Sugar is sweet. 174 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:14,674 I had a really good time on our date last night. Did you? 175 00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:18,311 I wore this kiwi lime lip gloss just for you. 176 00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:21,348 You like it? Huh? 177 00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:23,283 You like kiwi? 178 00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:27,087 (CHUCKLES) Shut up. 179 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,290 You shut up. 'Cause you're sexy. 180 00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,726 Shh. Shh. 181 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,730 I'm gonna spank you. You wanna be spanked? 182 00:11:36,764 --> 00:11:39,132 Huh? You want me to spank your booty? 183 00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:42,736 I'll spank it. I'll spank it. I'll spank you. 184 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,404 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 185 00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:46,874 (MOANS) 186 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,911 Oh, God. 187 00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,380 Oh, my body. 188 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:56,283 (CLEARS THROAT) 189 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:59,820 Sorry. Sorry. I was... 190 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:01,654 I was just... 191 00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:04,257 I was just doing my part to save the rain forest. 192 00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:05,492 Sorry. 193 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:10,397 Mary, you're a special girl, 194 00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:14,902 so special that we're going to put you in special ed. 195 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:19,272 What are you doing with your hands? 196 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:20,407 Sometimes when I get nervous, 197 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,410 I stick my fingers under my arms, 198 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:25,412 and I smell them like that. 199 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:28,015 (INHALING) 200 00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,249 (GROANS) 201 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:38,158 FATHER: The universe, how does it work? 202 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:42,796 The earth circles around the sun. 203 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:45,799 Mary, welcome to special ed. 204 00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:48,969 My name is Helen Lewengrub. 205 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,271 Is that all you got? 206 00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:54,274 MARY: She was center for the girls basketball team, 207 00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:57,978 and she was a lean, mean fighting machine. 208 00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,081 Do you have a best friend? 209 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,282 You wanna be my best friend? 210 00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:04,017 Maybe. (CHUCKLES) Okay. 211 00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:05,853 I have to be really honest with you. 212 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:08,889 Your intense energy is making me feel a little bit bombarded. 213 00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:10,223 Sorry. 214 00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:12,359 Really. 215 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:16,296 When I call your name, just say, "Here." Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? 216 00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:17,831 Howard Feinstein? Hmm? 217 00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:20,367 Yo! Present. 218 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,336 Howard thinks all the girls in school wanna sleep with him, 219 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,505 and the boys, too. 220 00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,474 You wanna quit looking at me, fruity. 221 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,243 I don't play butt darts, okay? 222 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,412 I love the ladies. 223 00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,381 FATHER: (CLEARS THROAT) Owen Flanagan? 224 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:36,516 Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. 225 00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,618 Owen has obsessive compulsive disorder. 226 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,221 He says everything like five times. (CHUCKLES) 227 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:44,424 Maria Ganitisis? Here. 228 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:48,996 But, uh, the devil speaks for me, obviously. 229 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:51,498 What? 230 00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:52,900 FATHER: Ah. 231 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:54,868 Thomas Smith? Here. 232 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:59,339 But I don't, like, know where here is, man, 'cause I'm so wasted, man. 233 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,374 Thomas, stop pretending that you're high on drugs. 234 00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:04,577 It is a sin to even pretend 235 00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:06,579 that you're, you're, you're baked. 236 00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:08,315 Whoo. 237 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,984 He's too scared to actually take drugs. 238 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,253 Drugs are bad. 239 00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,288 Eric Slater? Hmm? 240 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,558 Retard! Ha-ha-ha! 241 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,961 FATHER: Would you please go back to your own class? 242 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:23,396 Please! Go! 243 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:25,432 (MOANING) 244 00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:36,076 FATHER: Mr. Slater, I presume. 245 00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:38,045 Hmm? 246 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,521 How come he's not answering? 247 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,291 Slater just transferred here from public school. 248 00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:55,428 He's crazy. They say he chopped up his parents. 249 00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:57,497 And now he never talks. 250 00:14:57,530 --> 00:15:02,002 (CLEARS THROAT) Let's try it again, hmm? Eric Slater? Hmm? 251 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:15,715 Yes, well, moving on. (CLEARS THROAT) 252 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:16,950 (CHURCH BELL DINGS INDISTINCT) 253 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:24,457 (CHUCKLES) Hey, new friend. 254 00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,259 Did you see that sign they're putting up? 255 00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:30,063 Catholic Teenager magazine presents, 256 00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:33,633 the "Let's fight venereal disease talent contest." 257 00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:36,703 "Winner gets a free trip to Hollywood, 258 00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,538 "and a chance to be an extra... 259 00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:42,742 BOTH: "In a movie with positive moral values." 260 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,077 Oh, god. 261 00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:48,081 MAN 1: Miss Gallagher! (CROWD SCREAMING) 262 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:52,085 Miss Gallagher, so how does it feel to be an extra 263 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:55,155 in a movie with positive moral values? 264 00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:56,489 It feels okay. 265 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:57,590 MAN 2: Miss Gallagher. 266 00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,226 How does it feel to have everyone wanna kiss you 267 00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:00,960 that particular way you wanna be kissed? 268 00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:06,399 Miss Gallagher, how does it feel to be a superstar? 269 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:13,606 MARY: This was my chance. 270 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,608 If I could win the talent contest, 271 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:18,445 Sky's lips would definitely be mine. 272 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:22,249 Hey, everybody. I dreamt of this new dance move last night. 273 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,217 I call this the fax machine. 274 00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:27,454 (BUZZING) Oh! (CHUCKLES) 275 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,257 I wish I could dance with Sky Corrigan. 276 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:32,492 Sky's definitely the swayziest, 277 00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:35,262 but you know he's gonna dance with Evian. (CHUCKLES) 278 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,497 Yeah! Exactly! You did it perfectly. (CHUCKLES) 279 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,399 (CHUCKLES) Oh. Oh. 280 00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:44,204 (REVVING) 281 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:52,011 What do you think Slater would do in the talent show? 282 00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:54,881 Maybe he'll murder some people 283 00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:58,585 and make a flesh coat by sewing their skin hides together. 284 00:16:58,618 --> 00:16:59,552 (GROANS) 285 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,291 I'm sorry. I was rewinding Silence of the Lambs 286 00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:05,792 at the video store yesterday. 287 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:11,131 * Isn't it romantic 288 00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:13,233 * Merely to be young 289 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:16,236 * On such a night 290 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,405 * As this 291 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:21,108 * Isn't it romantic 292 00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:22,209 (GROANS) 293 00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,311 * Merely to be young 294 00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:29,349 * On such a night as this 295 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,451 * Sweet 296 00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:34,387 * Singing in the moonlight * 297 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,256 Yeah! 298 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,560 MAN: (OVER RECORD PLAYER) Introductions are important. 299 00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:44,063 When introducing oneself, first make eye contact. 300 00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:47,234 With a confident smile, say, "Hi. I'm..." 301 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,668 Mary Katherine Gallagher. 302 00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,503 Not bad. Try again. 303 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:53,873 (INHALES DEEPLY) Hi. I'm Mary Katherine Gallagher. 304 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,308 And where is your hand? 305 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,543 Right here. 306 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,379 In a new friend's hand, that's where. 307 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,781 (INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV) 308 00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:03,650 (SLURPING) 309 00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:07,520 So, I was... (CLEARS THROAT) 310 00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:10,390 I was saying before that I was thinking of entering the talent contest. 311 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,125 (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) The talent contest? 312 00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:16,529 No, no! You have to study business. 313 00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:18,498 But, but... No buts! 314 00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:23,203 (CRICKETS CHIRPING) MARY: And forgive those who trespass against us. 315 00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:26,339 Please, God, convince my grandmother to let me be in the talent show 316 00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:29,642 so that I can get kissed, maybe by Sky Corrigan. 317 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:36,183 (WHISTLING) 318 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:40,187 Superstar! 319 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,823 (BELL TOLLING) (BIRDS CHIRPING) 320 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:45,525 The body of Christ. 321 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,530 The body of Christ. Amen. 322 00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:54,767 The body of Christ. 323 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,303 Are these non-fat? 324 00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:58,438 (GRUMBLES) 325 00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:01,841 (CHOIR SINGING AVE MARIA) (HEELS CLACKING) 326 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,777 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 327 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:10,183 (WHISPERING) Hey, Mary. Why so glum? 328 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:14,187 My grandmother won't let me audition for the talent show. 329 00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:17,490 The only boy willing to go near me is Howard. 330 00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,860 Mmm. 331 00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:23,396 Just, like, audition anyway and don't tell her. 332 00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:24,964 (LAUGHS) You really think so? 333 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,333 Yeah. 334 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:28,701 That's it. 335 00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:29,969 You're feeling sad, 336 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,704 so you know what it's time for? 337 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:32,739 What? 338 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:35,708 Supermodel Documentary Hour. 339 00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:37,310 (CAMERA CLICKING) 340 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,711 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 341 00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:40,213 (MOANS) 342 00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:41,648 Shall I look straight here? 343 00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:43,883 (IN A EUROPEAN ACCENT) I was just walking down the street one day, 344 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,686 and a man come up to me and he said, 345 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,688 "Would you like to be a supermodel?" 346 00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:50,056 And I said, "Oui." 347 00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:53,760 And the next day, I'm in New York, on the cover of Vogue. 348 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,230 (BOTH WHOOPING) 349 00:19:58,531 --> 00:19:59,732 (IN A EUROPEAN ACCENT) Christy Turlington and Naomi Campbell 350 00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,668 are two of my very best friends. 351 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,236 And when we get together, it's just like, 352 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:06,639 total, total and utter insanity. 353 00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:08,074 Insanity! Yes. 354 00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:12,612 It's like... It's like, three of the most gorgeous girls raising hell. 355 00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:13,780 (CAMERA CLICKING CONTINUES) 356 00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:16,383 Problem, ladies? 357 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:19,752 (WHISPERS) Sorry, Father Ritley. Sorry. 358 00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:23,356 (CHOIR SINGING CONTINUES) Sorry, everybody. 359 00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:26,526 Sorry. 360 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:27,560 (GIGGLING) 361 00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:30,597 (TAPE REWINDING) 362 00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:32,465 Excuse me. 363 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,401 (CLATTERING) Whoa. Sorry. 364 00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:36,936 (TAPE THUDS) 365 00:20:37,804 --> 00:20:38,838 You're cool? 366 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,640 You scared me. 367 00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:41,808 Yeah, I'm okay. 368 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:45,578 Your boss sent me back here to find a movie. 369 00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:49,916 Hey, don't you go to my school? 370 00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:51,484 Yes, I do. 371 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:56,289 Listen, I'm looking for a made-for-TV movie from the '70s 372 00:20:56,323 --> 00:21:00,393 starring John Travolta, The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? 373 00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:03,796 That's my 19th favorite made-for-TV movie of all time. 374 00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:05,432 That's my 19th also. 375 00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:06,799 Wow. 376 00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:07,467 Yeah. 377 00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:12,038 "All around me. Plastic." 378 00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:13,806 "A bubble for me..." 379 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:14,674 "To be..." 380 00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:17,377 "Germ-free. You..." 381 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:18,511 "And me." 382 00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:19,979 "And me." 383 00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:21,981 Sky! 384 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,083 Forget that stupid old movie. 385 00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,418 I'm getting Flubber again. 386 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,486 SKY: Uh, okay, Evian. 387 00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:28,555 Hey, nice meeting you. 388 00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:30,523 Mary Katherine Gallagher. 389 00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:31,924 Mary Katherine Gallagher. 390 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:33,393 Sky. Sky! 391 00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:35,328 Be kind. Rewind. 392 00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:36,363 Okay. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 393 00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:39,432 That's funny. 394 00:21:39,466 --> 00:21:40,733 SKY: Evian? 395 00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:49,542 (TAPE WHIRRING) 396 00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:51,711 Mary, rewind this. 397 00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:52,979 (TAPE PAUSES) Oh, sure. 398 00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:54,714 The Boy in the Plastic Bubble. Hmm. 399 00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:56,483 I used to watch that movie all the time. 400 00:21:56,883 --> 00:21:58,084 See you. Bye. 401 00:22:01,888 --> 00:22:04,357 GINA: Listen, I'll be back later to help you get inside, okay? 402 00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:05,892 (QUOTING TOD FROM TAPE) "Is he the one you're going with?" 403 00:22:07,894 --> 00:22:09,429 (QUOTING GINA) "Who says I'm going with anybody?" 404 00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:14,734 (QUOTING) Tod, put your face up against the plastic. 405 00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:16,035 What for? 406 00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:18,638 (QUOTES GINA) "I did what you wanted me to do. Now, do it. 407 00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:20,840 "Do it. Do it." 408 00:22:21,908 --> 00:22:22,909 Mmm. 409 00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:30,917 (SIGHS) 410 00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:33,753 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 411 00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:35,722 (HUMMING) 412 00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:41,027 Hey, Mare. 413 00:22:41,060 --> 00:22:43,129 What you, what you doing? (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 414 00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:45,064 Well, I was just doing the robot. 415 00:22:45,097 --> 00:22:47,867 It's something that I was thinking about possibly doing for the talent show. 416 00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:49,001 Oh. (LAUGHS) 417 00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:50,603 Hi, Mary. 418 00:22:50,637 --> 00:22:52,672 I like to do all I can to help the challenged. 419 00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:54,106 So, a word of advice... 420 00:22:54,140 --> 00:22:56,175 I wouldn't say "superstar" anymore 421 00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,811 because some people might say that you super suck. 422 00:22:59,979 --> 00:23:01,914 Go suck your boyfriend's ding-a-lings. 423 00:23:01,948 --> 00:23:03,650 Go shave your mustache, Helen. 424 00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:05,051 Or should we say Geraldo? 425 00:23:06,519 --> 00:23:08,721 Got to go jog for glaucoma. Bye. 426 00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:11,824 Evian, you're a super ass! 427 00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:13,059 (GIGGLING CONTINUES) 428 00:23:13,092 --> 00:23:14,694 Evian does have a super ass. 429 00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:16,128 HELEN: Oh, I know. 430 00:23:19,966 --> 00:23:21,100 That's okay, well... 431 00:23:26,072 --> 00:23:27,474 That's okay. 432 00:23:32,144 --> 00:23:33,913 (SNIFFS) 433 00:23:35,848 --> 00:23:38,184 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING AND LAUGHTER) 434 00:23:38,217 --> 00:23:39,619 Hey, Mare. 435 00:23:40,620 --> 00:23:42,822 You want half of my Sloppy Joseph? 436 00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:43,856 No, thanks. 437 00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:47,026 It's time to feed the retard! 438 00:23:47,059 --> 00:23:48,528 (ALL LAUGHING) 439 00:23:48,561 --> 00:23:49,796 Hey! Cut it out! 440 00:23:49,829 --> 00:23:51,731 What, do you want to make something out of this? (SNIGGERS) 441 00:23:51,998 --> 00:23:54,634 Maybe you want some of my salad all over your face! 442 00:23:54,667 --> 00:23:56,703 Yeah! Whoo! (SCREAMS) 443 00:23:59,572 --> 00:24:01,541 (SNIGGERING CONTINUES) 444 00:24:06,613 --> 00:24:07,747 Mmm. 445 00:24:11,217 --> 00:24:13,152 (SIGHS) 446 00:24:14,521 --> 00:24:18,024 Helen, have you ever kissed a boy before? 447 00:24:18,057 --> 00:24:20,827 Owen kissed me five times on the cheek once. 448 00:24:21,761 --> 00:24:23,563 Really? Hey, Owen. 449 00:24:23,763 --> 00:24:27,066 Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. 450 00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:28,901 I don't mean on the cheek. 451 00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:31,871 Okay, who do you want to kiss? 452 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,608 Todd, peanut butter and jelly. Classic. 453 00:24:35,808 --> 00:24:37,043 Vivica, low-fat salad. 454 00:24:37,076 --> 00:24:38,545 Sky Corrigan. 455 00:24:38,578 --> 00:24:41,080 But, Mare, Sky's taken. 456 00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:42,949 (SIGHS) 457 00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:44,283 You should kiss Howard. 458 00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:45,618 Ugh. 459 00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:46,919 He likes you. 460 00:24:50,790 --> 00:24:52,058 Oh, yeah. 461 00:24:58,330 --> 00:24:59,532 Yeah. 462 00:25:04,737 --> 00:25:07,206 Mr. Feinstein, pope-a-licious. I love it. 463 00:25:09,075 --> 00:25:10,242 Hey, Mary. 464 00:25:11,778 --> 00:25:13,913 I saw you outside doing that robot thing. 465 00:25:14,814 --> 00:25:16,816 You have some nice moves. 466 00:25:17,049 --> 00:25:18,117 Thank you. 467 00:25:18,585 --> 00:25:20,587 You have some nice moves. 468 00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:23,723 (ECHOES) You have some nice moves. 469 00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:26,826 Nice moves. 470 00:25:28,094 --> 00:25:30,129 Moves. 471 00:25:32,098 --> 00:25:34,066 May I have... This dance? 472 00:25:34,100 --> 00:25:36,102 * Everybody dance now 473 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:44,677 * Everybody dance now 474 00:25:44,711 --> 00:25:47,246 (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 475 00:25:50,650 --> 00:25:52,885 Whoo! * Everybody dance now 476 00:25:54,020 --> 00:25:55,588 * Left to right 477 00:25:56,122 --> 00:25:58,257 * Work me all night 478 00:25:58,858 --> 00:26:00,326 * Come on, let's sweat 479 00:26:01,193 --> 00:26:02,662 * Baby 480 00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:04,997 * Let the music take control 481 00:26:05,264 --> 00:26:07,299 * Let the rhythm move you 482 00:26:07,333 --> 00:26:08,901 * Sweat 483 00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:10,970 * Sweat 484 00:26:11,804 --> 00:26:13,840 ALL: Father, Son and Holy Ghost! 485 00:26:14,140 --> 00:26:15,808 * Let the rhythm move you 486 00:26:16,008 --> 00:26:17,944 (CHEERING AND WHOOPING) 487 00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:20,146 Yeah! 488 00:26:20,713 --> 00:26:23,315 (SCATTING CONTINUES) 489 00:26:23,349 --> 00:26:24,617 ALL: Fame! 490 00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:27,620 (GRUNTS) 491 00:26:30,890 --> 00:26:33,225 * Everybody dance now 492 00:26:36,162 --> 00:26:37,096 SKY: Mary. 493 00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:40,099 What are you doing? 494 00:26:42,201 --> 00:26:44,170 Sometimes I... 495 00:26:44,203 --> 00:26:45,672 I get low blood sugar and it... 496 00:26:46,739 --> 00:26:48,675 It makes me feel a little bit shaky. 497 00:26:49,175 --> 00:26:52,178 Sorry. Sorry. 498 00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:18,137 (SPUTTERS) 499 00:27:20,072 --> 00:27:21,440 (COUGHING) 500 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:22,675 (BANGS TABLE) 501 00:27:28,915 --> 00:27:31,383 How is the, um, talent competition coming? 502 00:27:33,185 --> 00:27:34,721 Quite well. 503 00:27:36,355 --> 00:27:40,226 I don't want to point the finger of blame, but... 504 00:27:42,261 --> 00:27:43,963 Who broke the good toaster? 505 00:27:50,903 --> 00:27:52,438 (WHIRRING) 506 00:27:53,272 --> 00:27:55,708 (INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER TV) 507 00:27:55,975 --> 00:27:57,844 (WHIRRING CONTINUES) (BARKING AT A DISTANCE) 508 00:27:58,244 --> 00:27:59,445 (BREATHING DEEPLY) 509 00:28:02,314 --> 00:28:04,283 (SOFTLY) These are my breasts. 510 00:28:06,753 --> 00:28:10,289 Oh, God, they're so big. 511 00:28:11,323 --> 00:28:15,427 I just need a big bra to strap them back 512 00:28:15,461 --> 00:28:18,765 and support them because they're so huge. 513 00:28:18,798 --> 00:28:22,969 They need to be hooked and strapped in for support. 514 00:28:23,369 --> 00:28:24,971 They're my big boobs. 515 00:28:25,772 --> 00:28:29,141 This one is bigger than this one. 516 00:28:29,475 --> 00:28:33,245 (IN BABY'S VOICE) 'Cause this is the mommy, and that's the baby. 517 00:28:33,279 --> 00:28:36,816 And this one is very nice to this one and they hold hands. 518 00:28:37,016 --> 00:28:39,318 'Cause they're friends, okay? 519 00:28:39,786 --> 00:28:41,888 MARY: And forgive those who trespass against us. 520 00:28:43,022 --> 00:28:44,190 Amen. 521 00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:49,829 Good night, Mom. Good night, Dad. 522 00:28:50,997 --> 00:28:52,264 Good night, candle. 523 00:29:00,907 --> 00:29:03,876 (SIGHS) Good night, God. 524 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,782 Good night, Mary. 525 00:29:11,350 --> 00:29:12,284 (GASPS) 526 00:29:12,318 --> 00:29:13,820 Oh, my God! 527 00:29:13,853 --> 00:29:15,021 Oh, my me! 528 00:29:15,855 --> 00:29:17,023 How are you? 529 00:29:17,389 --> 00:29:18,825 It's going okay. 530 00:29:19,291 --> 00:29:20,559 Are you the Lord? 531 00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:22,394 Well, to you I am. 532 00:29:22,428 --> 00:29:25,031 See, technically, you're like in this REM sleep state, 533 00:29:25,064 --> 00:29:27,299 and I'm a mixture of your mind's images of God, 534 00:29:27,333 --> 00:29:29,335 some past authority figures, 535 00:29:29,368 --> 00:29:31,270 uh, Sky and your dad. 536 00:29:31,537 --> 00:29:33,806 Basically, your subconscious came up with me 537 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,075 to help you deal, dig? 538 00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:38,244 Yeah. 539 00:29:39,278 --> 00:29:41,447 Uh, you want a glass of water or something? 540 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,816 No, I'm good. I'm God. 541 00:29:44,350 --> 00:29:45,451 Oh, right. 542 00:29:45,985 --> 00:29:47,486 Is this your stereo? Yep. 543 00:29:48,220 --> 00:29:49,822 CD player, huh? Yep. 544 00:29:49,856 --> 00:29:51,824 We don't have these. Oh, you don't... 545 00:29:53,926 --> 00:29:57,163 (SPIRIT IN THE SKY PLAYING ON STEREO) (HUMMING) 546 00:29:58,330 --> 00:30:01,367 * Spirit in the sky, in the... * 547 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:02,334 That song's about me. 548 00:30:03,502 --> 00:30:04,937 (HUMS) (SONG ENDS) 549 00:30:04,971 --> 00:30:06,873 Mary, I know your soul is troubled. 550 00:30:07,273 --> 00:30:09,041 And I'm here to guide you. 551 00:30:09,375 --> 00:30:10,542 Okay. 552 00:30:12,278 --> 00:30:15,982 My child, during this time of great adversity, 553 00:30:16,015 --> 00:30:17,416 I want you to do one thing. 554 00:30:18,350 --> 00:30:20,319 Get jiggy with it. 555 00:30:20,519 --> 00:30:21,820 What? 556 00:30:22,088 --> 00:30:23,956 You know. Get jiggy with it. 557 00:30:23,990 --> 00:30:26,058 * Na, na, na, na, na, na 558 00:30:26,092 --> 00:30:27,526 * Na-na-na-na na-na-na-na * 559 00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:28,560 Ow! 560 00:30:30,897 --> 00:30:32,364 I'm... I'm very sorry, 561 00:30:32,398 --> 00:30:36,302 but I... I don't know exactly what the word "jiggy" means. 562 00:30:37,436 --> 00:30:40,639 The point is, I work in mysterious ways. 563 00:30:40,672 --> 00:30:42,841 I mean, out there. 564 00:30:43,976 --> 00:30:45,611 Listen to your heart. 565 00:30:45,644 --> 00:30:47,413 Do whatever it tells you, 566 00:30:47,446 --> 00:30:49,982 and... And go with the Godly flow. 567 00:30:51,283 --> 00:30:53,519 Oh, and most important... Yeah? 568 00:30:53,552 --> 00:30:55,521 When you wake up in the morning... Huh. 569 00:30:55,554 --> 00:30:56,855 ...audition. 570 00:30:57,456 --> 00:30:59,258 * Na, na, na na, na, na 571 00:30:59,291 --> 00:31:01,460 * Na, na, na,na, Na na, na, na, na * 572 00:31:05,064 --> 00:31:06,132 (INSECTS TRILLING) 573 00:31:06,165 --> 00:31:07,299 (ALARM CLOCK RINGING) 574 00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:12,104 (RINGING STOPS) 575 00:31:15,041 --> 00:31:16,675 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING AND LAUGHTER) 576 00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:18,344 (MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 577 00:31:25,317 --> 00:31:27,019 Good afternoon, ladies. 578 00:31:27,053 --> 00:31:29,288 You're all looking quite, uh, lovely this afternoon. 579 00:31:29,321 --> 00:31:30,222 What do you want? 580 00:31:30,256 --> 00:31:32,291 She probably wants to try out for the squad. 581 00:31:32,591 --> 00:31:35,394 I was actually wondering if any of you would be kind enough 582 00:31:35,427 --> 00:31:37,563 to show me the sign-up sheet for the auditions. 583 00:31:37,596 --> 00:31:40,332 Oh, right. She's a superstar. 584 00:31:41,533 --> 00:31:45,304 As president of the catholic cheerleaders against VD Foundation, 585 00:31:45,337 --> 00:31:48,107 I can't let you sign up for the audition. Sorry. 586 00:31:48,507 --> 00:31:49,708 But I want to sign up for the auditions. 587 00:31:49,741 --> 00:31:52,511 Mary, fighting VD isn't a joke. 588 00:31:52,711 --> 00:31:54,446 It's a very serious disease! 589 00:31:55,081 --> 00:31:58,017 Besides, Sky and me are going to win anyway. 590 00:31:58,550 --> 00:32:00,186 Hey, guys, I got a new cheer. 591 00:32:00,219 --> 00:32:01,520 Evian? 592 00:32:01,553 --> 00:32:02,454 * John the Baptist lost his head... * 593 00:32:02,488 --> 00:32:04,156 (YELLS) Evian! (SCREAMS) 594 00:32:04,190 --> 00:32:05,357 (GIRLS GASPING) 595 00:32:08,194 --> 00:32:10,062 I'm really sorry that I pushed you. 596 00:32:10,096 --> 00:32:11,197 It was an accident. (INDISTINCT MURMURING) 597 00:32:11,230 --> 00:32:13,699 I just really want to sign up for the auditions. 598 00:32:14,133 --> 00:32:16,335 Well, I'm really sorry that I pushed you. (GRUNTS) 599 00:32:16,368 --> 00:32:17,736 (GIRLS LAUGH) 600 00:32:17,769 --> 00:32:21,007 But I just can't let hymenly-challenged dogs sign up for the auditions. 601 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:22,341 BOTH: Ooh! 602 00:32:22,374 --> 00:32:23,409 Well, you know what? 603 00:32:23,642 --> 00:32:25,211 You're a very mean girl, 604 00:32:25,244 --> 00:32:26,979 and you're going to go to hell for saying that. 605 00:32:27,179 --> 00:32:28,747 (GIRLS JEERING) You're a really pushy girl, 606 00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:30,749 and I might just want to kick your ass. 607 00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:32,118 Ooh! Yeah? 608 00:32:32,151 --> 00:32:34,253 Well, I just might want to kick your ass! 609 00:32:34,286 --> 00:32:35,321 (GIRLS LAUGHING) 610 00:32:35,521 --> 00:32:38,257 Well, come on, super sucks. 611 00:32:38,657 --> 00:32:40,526 If I was Sissy Spacek in the movie Carrie, 612 00:32:40,559 --> 00:32:43,095 I would use my telekinesis to kill you! 613 00:32:43,129 --> 00:32:44,263 (LAUGHING) 614 00:32:44,496 --> 00:32:45,664 You know what, Mary? 615 00:32:47,166 --> 00:32:48,534 Not yet. 616 00:32:48,567 --> 00:32:49,435 I'm sorry. 617 00:32:50,369 --> 00:32:53,372 EVIAN: Mary, you know why your parents died? 618 00:32:53,405 --> 00:32:55,441 Because you're such an embarrassment, 619 00:32:55,474 --> 00:32:57,409 they couldn't bear to live anymore. 620 00:32:57,809 --> 00:32:59,411 MARY: You know what, Evian? 621 00:32:59,445 --> 00:33:01,180 You should really be embarrassed 622 00:33:01,213 --> 00:33:04,283 because your parents named you after bottled water. 623 00:33:06,785 --> 00:33:08,687 (BOTH SCREAMING) 624 00:33:10,256 --> 00:33:11,257 (GASPING) 625 00:33:11,823 --> 00:33:13,559 (GRUNTING) 626 00:33:14,593 --> 00:33:16,162 Hey, is there, is there a problem here? 627 00:33:16,595 --> 00:33:18,230 (GRUNTING CONTINUES) 628 00:33:19,298 --> 00:33:20,566 My titties! 629 00:33:22,301 --> 00:33:23,402 Yeah! 630 00:33:24,203 --> 00:33:25,304 (EVIAN THUDS) Hey. 631 00:33:25,504 --> 00:33:26,572 Yeah! 632 00:33:27,706 --> 00:33:29,141 (WHIMPERS) 633 00:33:29,175 --> 00:33:31,177 (SCREAMING) 634 00:33:37,316 --> 00:33:38,450 Karate kick. 635 00:33:38,717 --> 00:33:40,786 I rewound those Jackie Chan movies. 636 00:33:40,819 --> 00:33:42,321 FATHER RITLEY: Nevertheless. 637 00:33:42,354 --> 00:33:44,756 Evian, I'm disappointed in you. 638 00:33:45,324 --> 00:33:48,294 At this school, any student, including Mary, 639 00:33:48,327 --> 00:33:51,130 is allowed to make a fool of herself at the auditions. 640 00:33:51,463 --> 00:33:52,664 I'm suspending you for the rest of the day. 641 00:33:53,199 --> 00:33:54,466 But, Father Ritley, I didn't... Evian. 642 00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:56,102 Father Ritley, 643 00:33:56,135 --> 00:33:58,670 the person you wanted to see is on her way. 644 00:33:59,138 --> 00:34:02,408 Ah, well, send her in when she gets here. 645 00:34:04,810 --> 00:34:06,178 You are so dead. 646 00:34:06,212 --> 00:34:07,813 Go drink a bottle of yourself. 647 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:09,648 Mmm! (CHOKES) 648 00:34:09,681 --> 00:34:10,816 (SQUEALING) 649 00:34:10,849 --> 00:34:12,818 Evian, Mary, stop that! 650 00:34:12,851 --> 00:34:14,686 (SHRIEKING) Mary! Stop it! 651 00:34:15,687 --> 00:34:17,123 Ahh! 652 00:34:19,691 --> 00:34:21,093 Evian, you're dismissed. 653 00:34:22,494 --> 00:34:23,695 (MUFFLED) I hate you. 654 00:34:25,231 --> 00:34:27,099 "Go drink a bottle of yourself?" 655 00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:34,373 Miss Gallagher... 656 00:34:36,608 --> 00:34:39,778 Miss Gallagher, what's that horrible thing you said to Sister Eileen? 657 00:34:40,646 --> 00:34:42,214 I told her to move her big, white butt 658 00:34:42,248 --> 00:34:44,350 or I would cold-cock her honky ass. 659 00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:45,651 To Sister Eileen? 660 00:34:46,785 --> 00:34:48,454 Why would you say such a thing? 661 00:34:48,687 --> 00:34:49,888 The video store where I work 662 00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:51,490 got Spike Lee movies. 663 00:34:51,523 --> 00:34:53,692 Ah, yes, yes. You're the, uh... 664 00:34:53,725 --> 00:34:55,861 You're the rewind girl at Kip's video. 665 00:34:55,894 --> 00:34:57,129 Yes, I am. 666 00:34:57,163 --> 00:34:59,865 Well, Mary, let's pretend that your life's a movie, shall we? 667 00:35:00,299 --> 00:35:03,169 We rewind it. It ends. 668 00:35:03,202 --> 00:35:05,471 You're dead. How was it? 669 00:35:05,671 --> 00:35:08,374 My feelings would best be expressed in a monologue 670 00:35:08,407 --> 00:35:11,277 from the made-for-TV movie Portrait of a Centerfold 671 00:35:11,310 --> 00:35:13,679 starring Miss Lori Singer from Footloose. 672 00:35:13,712 --> 00:35:14,780 If you must. 673 00:35:19,385 --> 00:35:21,153 It excites me, Daddy. 674 00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:23,155 Don't you see? 675 00:35:24,256 --> 00:35:26,325 I like it when the men look at me. 676 00:35:27,293 --> 00:35:30,196 You try to keep me trapped here in this small town 677 00:35:30,229 --> 00:35:31,730 like a little animal. 678 00:35:32,298 --> 00:35:34,500 But I am busting out, Daddy! 679 00:35:34,933 --> 00:35:36,702 I'm going to see the world, 680 00:35:36,735 --> 00:35:38,870 and the world is going to see me! (TAPS DESK) 681 00:35:38,904 --> 00:35:41,173 They're going to see all of me, Daddy. 682 00:35:41,207 --> 00:35:42,408 All of me! Mary! 683 00:35:42,441 --> 00:35:44,243 All of me! Mary, stop that! 684 00:35:44,276 --> 00:35:45,577 Look! Look at me! Stop that! 685 00:35:45,611 --> 00:35:48,146 What are you doing with my grandchild? 686 00:35:48,847 --> 00:35:50,316 Nothing! 687 00:35:50,749 --> 00:35:51,650 We were... (CHAIR WHIRRING) 688 00:35:53,585 --> 00:35:55,887 (CLEARS THROAT) Mrs. Gallagher, 689 00:35:55,921 --> 00:35:59,558 I called you here today to discuss your granddaughter's problem. 690 00:36:00,259 --> 00:36:05,597 Now, upon reflection, I think a combination of prayer and Ritalin 691 00:36:05,631 --> 00:36:07,766 could eliminate her excess energy. 692 00:36:07,799 --> 00:36:09,301 (BREATHES DEEPLY) GRANDMA: How dare you! 693 00:36:09,335 --> 00:36:11,737 My Mary has no problem. 694 00:36:11,770 --> 00:36:13,705 My granddaughter is a star. 695 00:36:13,739 --> 00:36:14,740 What? 696 00:36:14,773 --> 00:36:16,208 Look at that face. 697 00:36:16,642 --> 00:36:18,877 She looks like a young Elizabeth Taylor. 698 00:36:19,411 --> 00:36:20,746 Oh. 699 00:36:20,779 --> 00:36:22,614 You may call her hyperactive. 700 00:36:22,648 --> 00:36:25,451 But if the good Lord gave her excess energy, 701 00:36:25,484 --> 00:36:28,186 then, by God, no one's taking it from her. 702 00:36:28,620 --> 00:36:30,689 If you don't appreciate that, 703 00:36:30,722 --> 00:36:34,326 maybe the problem is not my granddaughter. 704 00:36:34,660 --> 00:36:36,995 Maybe the problem is this school. 705 00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:38,430 (GULPS) 706 00:36:38,464 --> 00:36:40,299 I'm taking her home. (CHAIR WHIRRING) 707 00:36:40,332 --> 00:36:41,400 Mrs. Gallagher! 708 00:36:41,433 --> 00:36:43,269 Good day to you, sir. Mary! 709 00:36:43,502 --> 00:36:44,970 Mrs. Gallagher, listen to reason please. 710 00:36:45,003 --> 00:36:47,406 (SCREAMS) 711 00:36:47,439 --> 00:36:49,408 MARY: I couldn't believe my grandmother told Father Ritley I was a star. 712 00:36:50,008 --> 00:36:52,010 She'd never said that before. 713 00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:53,979 She'd also never run over a priest before. 714 00:36:54,746 --> 00:36:55,914 Sorry. 715 00:36:57,416 --> 00:36:59,785 Evian, I can't believe he suspended you. 716 00:36:59,818 --> 00:37:00,886 It so wasn't your fault. 717 00:37:00,919 --> 00:37:02,621 Thank you. I know. 718 00:37:02,654 --> 00:37:04,723 Mary started the whole thing. 719 00:37:04,756 --> 00:37:06,758 Thank you. I know. 720 00:37:06,792 --> 00:37:07,859 Hold on a second. 721 00:37:07,893 --> 00:37:10,529 I've been through a trauma and I need a moment. 722 00:37:12,998 --> 00:37:14,466 (RETCHING) 723 00:37:14,500 --> 00:37:15,601 (FLUSHES TOILET) 724 00:37:19,405 --> 00:37:20,772 (BOTH SIGH) 725 00:37:20,806 --> 00:37:23,342 And now Father Ritley is letting her audition. 726 00:37:23,375 --> 00:37:24,910 That is the last time I try to help someone. 727 00:37:24,943 --> 00:37:27,579 She is so going to regret this. 728 00:37:28,547 --> 00:37:29,681 (PHONE BEEPS) 729 00:37:29,715 --> 00:37:31,417 Oh, I got to go, guys. 730 00:37:31,450 --> 00:37:32,784 That's probably Sky. 731 00:37:32,818 --> 00:37:33,985 Bye, Evian. Bye, Evian. 732 00:37:34,420 --> 00:37:35,821 Hi, Sky. 733 00:37:35,854 --> 00:37:38,490 Do you miss me as much as I miss you so much? 734 00:37:38,857 --> 00:37:39,958 Evian, 735 00:37:39,991 --> 00:37:41,660 I saw what you did to Mary today. 736 00:37:41,693 --> 00:37:44,363 Not too ladylike. I think we need to talk. 737 00:37:44,696 --> 00:37:46,298 EVIAN: Is something wrong? 738 00:37:46,332 --> 00:37:48,400 Look, I can't talk right now. 739 00:37:48,434 --> 00:37:49,668 But you just called me. 740 00:37:50,402 --> 00:37:52,804 Look, I got to go. I'll, I'll talk to you tomorrow. 741 00:37:52,838 --> 00:37:54,406 Meet me at the gym. Bye. 742 00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:55,941 (LINE DISCONNECTS) 743 00:37:57,943 --> 00:37:59,611 Hmm. 744 00:37:59,645 --> 00:38:00,846 MAN: (ON TV) ...throughout the New England area. 745 00:38:00,879 --> 00:38:02,514 They've been hit hard this winter, 746 00:38:02,548 --> 00:38:03,782 but the South remains warm. 747 00:38:03,815 --> 00:38:06,718 Grandma, why did you tell Father Ritley that I was a star? 748 00:38:06,752 --> 00:38:07,853 I was just talking. 749 00:38:08,887 --> 00:38:11,423 Because that's... That's what I want to be. 750 00:38:11,723 --> 00:38:13,392 I really want to audition. 751 00:38:13,425 --> 00:38:14,960 You want to be a businesswoman. 752 00:38:14,993 --> 00:38:16,528 That's what you want! 753 00:38:16,562 --> 00:38:17,929 Don't you understand? 754 00:38:17,963 --> 00:38:19,865 This is everything I've ever wanted. 755 00:38:19,898 --> 00:38:22,334 This is everything I've ever hoped for. 756 00:38:22,368 --> 00:38:24,336 I just want my life to begin. 757 00:38:24,370 --> 00:38:26,004 Dreams can come true, you know? 758 00:38:26,538 --> 00:38:27,773 And when Johnny comes back from the war, 759 00:38:27,806 --> 00:38:28,707 we can start a family 760 00:38:28,740 --> 00:38:29,808 and begin our life together on the farm. 761 00:38:29,841 --> 00:38:32,043 And if the crop's are good this year... Mary! 762 00:38:34,913 --> 00:38:36,047 (WHIMPERS) 763 00:38:37,082 --> 00:38:39,117 Could I please, please, please, please audition? 764 00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:40,452 No. 765 00:38:40,486 --> 00:38:41,553 Please? 766 00:38:41,953 --> 00:38:43,088 No. 767 00:38:45,391 --> 00:38:46,792 You're horrible! 768 00:38:47,025 --> 00:38:48,394 You're horrible! 769 00:38:48,427 --> 00:38:49,761 (MAN SPEAKING ON TV CONTINUES) 770 00:38:50,496 --> 00:38:51,763 (WHIMPERING) 771 00:38:53,098 --> 00:38:55,100 (YELLING) You're horrible! 772 00:38:55,501 --> 00:38:56,768 (GRUNTING) 773 00:38:59,405 --> 00:39:01,740 You're horrible! (DOOR SLAMS) 774 00:39:01,773 --> 00:39:03,542 You're horrible! 775 00:39:08,547 --> 00:39:09,681 Horrible! 776 00:39:25,130 --> 00:39:26,465 Mary. 777 00:39:26,498 --> 00:39:27,933 (SOBBING) Leave me alone! 778 00:39:30,802 --> 00:39:32,538 I didn't want to do this. 779 00:39:34,072 --> 00:39:38,043 But it's time I told you how your parents died. 780 00:39:38,076 --> 00:39:40,679 What does that have to do with the talent contest? 781 00:39:40,712 --> 00:39:41,947 Everything. 782 00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:47,018 I thought you said that Mom and Dad were savagely ripped apart 783 00:39:47,052 --> 00:39:49,421 and eaten by a school of hammerhead sharks. 784 00:39:49,455 --> 00:39:52,023 I just told you that to make you feel better. 785 00:39:52,658 --> 00:39:56,061 What I'm about to tell you now is the truth, 786 00:39:56,094 --> 00:39:57,663 so help me God. (THUNDER RUMBLES) 787 00:39:58,497 --> 00:40:00,466 17 years ago, 788 00:40:00,499 --> 00:40:03,535 your parents entered the Besamee Heights' 789 00:40:03,569 --> 00:40:05,671 annual step-dancing competition. 790 00:40:06,071 --> 00:40:09,074 You mean, step-dancing like in Riverdance? 791 00:40:09,107 --> 00:40:11,977 That's nothing to what your parents could do. 792 00:40:12,878 --> 00:40:16,815 My mother taught it to me. I taught it to your mum. 793 00:40:16,848 --> 00:40:18,717 But so help me, Mary, 794 00:40:18,750 --> 00:40:20,852 you will never step-dance 795 00:40:20,886 --> 00:40:25,824 as long as I walk this... Wheel around the earth. 796 00:40:27,559 --> 00:40:29,995 The year you were born, 797 00:40:30,028 --> 00:40:33,699 the step-dancing competition was fierce. 798 00:40:33,732 --> 00:40:36,735 (IRISH MUSIC PLAYING) A couple named O'Shea 799 00:40:36,768 --> 00:40:39,938 looked like they'd be the first to beat your mum and dad. 800 00:40:39,971 --> 00:40:41,773 (MUSIC PLAYING STOPS) (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 801 00:40:41,807 --> 00:40:44,510 But your mother was determined to keep her title, 802 00:40:44,543 --> 00:40:45,844 no matter what it took. 803 00:40:47,278 --> 00:40:49,615 (IRISH MUSIC PLAYING CONTINUES) 804 00:40:49,648 --> 00:40:51,182 It began well enough. 805 00:40:51,216 --> 00:40:53,885 Your parents ate up that stage. 806 00:40:54,152 --> 00:40:57,989 Just when it looked as though your parents would be triumphant again, 807 00:40:58,023 --> 00:40:59,958 the unthinkable happened. 808 00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:04,596 Fat Teddy McGinty's belly struck the record player, (WHIRRS) 809 00:41:04,630 --> 00:41:06,965 accidentally turning up the speed. 810 00:41:07,165 --> 00:41:11,637 And the step-dancers began stepping quicker and quicker, trying to keep up. 811 00:41:12,203 --> 00:41:14,973 And that's when your mother fell. ROSEMARY: Whoa. 812 00:41:15,240 --> 00:41:17,609 And she took your dad down with her. 813 00:41:18,176 --> 00:41:20,679 And before the dancers could stop themselves, 814 00:41:20,712 --> 00:41:21,880 (SPLATTERING) 815 00:41:21,913 --> 00:41:23,882 they stomped your parents to death. 816 00:41:23,915 --> 00:41:25,517 (ALL GASPING) 817 00:41:26,117 --> 00:41:29,187 Oh, Mary, I know you want to perform, 818 00:41:29,721 --> 00:41:32,691 but when you're a businesswoman, 819 00:41:32,724 --> 00:41:36,194 you'll be sitting behind a desk all day, safe. 820 00:41:42,267 --> 00:41:43,802 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) (BLOWS) 821 00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:44,970 Rotate! 822 00:41:45,170 --> 00:41:48,073 Oh, is that all you got? Come on! 823 00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:49,675 (WHISPERING) Sky and Evian are breaking up. 824 00:41:49,708 --> 00:41:51,042 (GASPS) Oh, my God! 825 00:41:51,076 --> 00:41:52,978 Mare, Sky and Evian are going to break up. 826 00:41:53,011 --> 00:41:54,212 Sky's going to break up with Evian! 827 00:41:54,245 --> 00:41:55,513 Really? Come on! 828 00:41:56,582 --> 00:41:58,717 (EVIAN CHATTERING) 829 00:42:01,219 --> 00:42:02,320 Here he comes. 830 00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:03,555 Evian, it's Sky. (GASPS) 831 00:42:06,157 --> 00:42:07,926 Hi, Sky. 832 00:42:07,959 --> 00:42:09,561 What did you want to talk to me about? 833 00:42:09,861 --> 00:42:12,698 I think it would work for me if we broke up. 834 00:42:12,998 --> 00:42:14,700 Oh. (GASPS) (INDISTINCT MURMURING) 835 00:42:16,334 --> 00:42:18,770 I... I don't understand. 836 00:42:18,804 --> 00:42:21,139 This is such a shock. What's wrong? 837 00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:23,008 Now you're giving me attitude. 838 00:42:23,041 --> 00:42:24,576 (INDISTINCT MURMURING) (CHUCKLES) 839 00:42:25,711 --> 00:42:27,613 Just tell me what I did wrong. 840 00:42:27,646 --> 00:42:30,148 Listen, we talked about this last night 841 00:42:30,181 --> 00:42:31,950 till I was blue in the face. 842 00:42:32,784 --> 00:42:34,953 We're just growing in different directions. 843 00:42:34,986 --> 00:42:39,825 I mean, you're this way and I'm... I'm that way. 844 00:42:39,858 --> 00:42:41,326 Oh. You're here. I'm there. 845 00:42:41,993 --> 00:42:44,329 And there's no one right in here. 846 00:42:44,996 --> 00:42:46,632 So it's over. 847 00:42:46,665 --> 00:42:48,099 (VOICE BREAKS) Just like that. It's over. 848 00:42:48,133 --> 00:42:49,968 (STAMMERS) You're telling me that it's over. 849 00:42:50,001 --> 00:42:51,102 I guess so. 850 00:42:52,671 --> 00:42:54,072 Hey, Bartholomew, nice name. 851 00:42:54,272 --> 00:42:56,307 (SCREAMING) (GIRLS GASPING) 852 00:43:01,379 --> 00:43:04,115 (CHOKING) 853 00:43:04,149 --> 00:43:05,350 (INHALES) NURSE: Just breathe. 854 00:43:05,383 --> 00:43:06,718 MARY: Poor Evian. 855 00:43:06,752 --> 00:43:07,886 HELEN: Lucky you. 856 00:43:07,919 --> 00:43:10,856 Sky's a single slice of beefcake now. 857 00:43:10,889 --> 00:43:12,691 And he's on the rebound. 858 00:43:12,724 --> 00:43:15,794 It's like so obvious that you two are going to hook up. 859 00:43:15,827 --> 00:43:17,195 You really think so? 860 00:43:17,228 --> 00:43:19,831 Remember, he said you have nice moves. 861 00:43:20,131 --> 00:43:22,300 Well, that means he was looking at your body, 862 00:43:22,333 --> 00:43:24,102 which means he thinks you're doable. 863 00:43:24,135 --> 00:43:26,738 So basically, he asked you to sleep with him. 864 00:43:26,772 --> 00:43:28,006 (BREATHES DEEPLY) Oh, my goodness. 865 00:43:28,039 --> 00:43:29,841 This relationship is moving too fast. 866 00:43:29,875 --> 00:43:31,743 Go talk to him before somebody else dates him. 867 00:43:31,777 --> 00:43:32,811 Really? 868 00:43:32,844 --> 00:43:34,379 Go. Go. Go. I don't know. 869 00:43:34,412 --> 00:43:35,781 Okay. 870 00:43:38,316 --> 00:43:39,818 Excuse me. 871 00:43:39,851 --> 00:43:41,419 Hey, Sky. Hey, Mary. 872 00:43:41,452 --> 00:43:43,054 Hey, what's up? What's up? 873 00:43:43,088 --> 00:43:46,291 Um, Sky, I know... 874 00:43:46,725 --> 00:43:51,763 That you haven't been single for a long time 875 00:43:51,797 --> 00:43:54,632 or anything like that, but I was wondering... 876 00:43:55,066 --> 00:43:57,335 (BREATHING RAPIDLY) If... If... 877 00:43:57,903 --> 00:43:59,370 Oh, God! Oh! 878 00:44:00,939 --> 00:44:02,107 Give me some sugar. 879 00:44:02,140 --> 00:44:03,308 (GROWLING) 880 00:44:03,341 --> 00:44:04,676 MARY: Oh, God, you smell so good. 881 00:44:04,710 --> 00:44:05,944 Oh, no! Oh, God. 882 00:44:07,312 --> 00:44:09,047 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 883 00:44:12,350 --> 00:44:13,351 Sorry. 884 00:44:13,384 --> 00:44:15,787 It's going to be okay. It's going to be all right. 885 00:44:15,821 --> 00:44:18,223 Now you have to audition for the show. 886 00:44:18,256 --> 00:44:20,291 'Cause that way Sky could see how talented you are, 887 00:44:20,325 --> 00:44:22,660 and he will definitely kiss you. 888 00:44:22,961 --> 00:44:25,096 Really? You think so? 889 00:44:25,130 --> 00:44:27,699 Totally. Wow. 890 00:44:40,746 --> 00:44:42,347 MARY: Sky, promise me, 891 00:44:42,380 --> 00:44:44,916 after you destroy the meteor that's headed towards earth, 892 00:44:44,950 --> 00:44:46,317 you'll come back and kiss me. 893 00:44:46,351 --> 00:44:47,719 I promise, babe. 894 00:44:50,121 --> 00:44:52,490 * All my bags are packed 895 00:44:52,523 --> 00:44:54,692 * I'm ready to go 896 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,896 * I'm standing here Hmm. 897 00:44:57,929 --> 00:45:00,131 * Outside your door 898 00:45:00,365 --> 00:45:05,403 * I hate to wake you up to say good-bye * 899 00:45:05,937 --> 00:45:09,240 (OTHERS HUMMING) Mary, I don't know how to tell you this. 900 00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:12,744 But I just want you to know that 901 00:45:13,544 --> 00:45:15,246 I'm really going... 902 00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:16,748 Can you shut the hell up? 903 00:45:17,248 --> 00:45:19,250 (HUMMING STOPS) I'm trying to talk! 904 00:45:19,284 --> 00:45:20,318 Hmm. 905 00:45:21,286 --> 00:45:23,254 You got to go. No. 906 00:45:23,288 --> 00:45:25,223 You have to get off me. No! 907 00:45:25,256 --> 00:45:26,424 Mary, please get off me. 908 00:45:26,457 --> 00:45:27,525 No! No! 909 00:45:27,558 --> 00:45:28,927 Get the hell off me! 910 00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:30,128 (SOBBING) No! I want to stay! 911 00:45:30,161 --> 00:45:32,864 Get off me! There's a meteor coming! No! 912 00:45:32,898 --> 00:45:34,199 Get off me! No! 913 00:45:35,433 --> 00:45:37,869 Mary, did you rewind the tape? The customer's waiting. 914 00:45:37,903 --> 00:45:39,270 Oh, yeah. Sorry. (TAPE EJECTS) 915 00:45:39,938 --> 00:45:41,773 Now come on. It's $2 Tuesday. 916 00:45:48,313 --> 00:45:49,314 (EVIAN GRUNTS) 917 00:45:51,382 --> 00:45:53,985 (EXHALES) (PIANO PLAYING) 918 00:46:01,226 --> 00:46:03,494 (CLEARS THROAT) Evian! 919 00:46:04,029 --> 00:46:05,463 Good to see you. 920 00:46:05,496 --> 00:46:07,933 Out walking for scoliosis again? 921 00:46:08,233 --> 00:46:10,168 Oh, no, Mrs. Corrigan. 922 00:46:10,201 --> 00:46:12,403 I just came by to give Sky this. 923 00:46:12,437 --> 00:46:13,939 Aw. Is he home? 924 00:46:13,972 --> 00:46:15,240 Yes, he's just... 925 00:46:15,874 --> 00:46:18,576 Actually, can you wait a moment? 926 00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:20,912 SKY: No, definitely not. No way. 927 00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:25,083 I'm sorry. Sky's not home. 928 00:46:26,317 --> 00:46:28,219 Oh. Okay. 929 00:46:28,253 --> 00:46:29,821 Then could you tell him 930 00:46:29,855 --> 00:46:32,090 if he wants to talk to... (YELLS) Give me a call? 931 00:46:32,423 --> 00:46:34,392 Don't want to talk. Go away! 932 00:46:35,460 --> 00:46:38,429 Okay, I'll tell him if I see him. 933 00:46:39,130 --> 00:46:40,465 Nice knowing you. 934 00:46:40,498 --> 00:46:41,532 Oh, but wait. 935 00:46:41,566 --> 00:46:43,401 I'm still going to see you around, aren't I? 936 00:46:43,434 --> 00:46:46,337 Oh. Now you're giving me attitude? 937 00:46:46,371 --> 00:46:47,605 I'm not giving you attitude. 938 00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:49,340 Just tell me what I did wrong! 939 00:46:49,374 --> 00:46:51,509 What are you going to do, hit me, too? 940 00:46:53,644 --> 00:46:56,514 Hey, Evian, I made up a new dance move. 941 00:46:57,115 --> 00:46:59,851 It's called the "move on with your life." 942 00:47:00,385 --> 00:47:01,186 Ha! 943 00:47:01,953 --> 00:47:04,555 I did the fax machine for you! 944 00:47:04,589 --> 00:47:07,125 (SCREAMING) 945 00:47:08,059 --> 00:47:09,527 (PANTING) 946 00:47:12,097 --> 00:47:16,935 Mary Katherine Gallagher must die. 947 00:47:19,938 --> 00:47:23,241 No, I do like you. 948 00:47:23,274 --> 00:47:25,410 But it's too soon. 949 00:47:26,411 --> 00:47:28,880 You just broke up with her. We can't. 950 00:47:30,681 --> 00:47:31,883 (GIGGLES) 951 00:47:32,383 --> 00:47:33,919 Stop making me laugh. 952 00:47:34,986 --> 00:47:36,221 Shh. 953 00:47:38,423 --> 00:47:40,158 (MOANING) (ENGINE SPUTTERING) 954 00:47:45,030 --> 00:47:46,164 (GASPS) 955 00:47:53,571 --> 00:47:57,608 Oh, dear God, please make this crazy kid go away. 956 00:47:58,009 --> 00:48:00,311 Go away. Go away. Go away. 957 00:48:00,545 --> 00:48:02,981 Dear God, please make this crazy kid go away. 958 00:48:03,448 --> 00:48:05,183 (ENGINE REVS) 959 00:48:08,619 --> 00:48:10,121 (BRAKES SCREECH) 960 00:48:13,058 --> 00:48:14,525 What do you want from me? 961 00:48:17,462 --> 00:48:19,197 My journal. 962 00:48:19,230 --> 00:48:20,565 Thanks. 963 00:48:24,535 --> 00:48:25,971 A flower. 964 00:48:27,138 --> 00:48:28,339 Thanks. 965 00:48:29,975 --> 00:48:31,342 (THOMAS WHOOSHING) 966 00:48:38,116 --> 00:48:39,450 Mmm-hmm. 967 00:48:39,484 --> 00:48:41,186 (GRUNTING) 968 00:48:41,452 --> 00:48:44,489 Thank you, Thomas, for that tribute to Star Wars. 969 00:48:44,522 --> 00:48:46,591 (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) Very, uh, astounding. 970 00:48:47,258 --> 00:48:48,559 Like I was there. 971 00:48:48,593 --> 00:48:50,261 Well, we seem to have a lot of... 972 00:48:50,461 --> 00:48:53,098 I feel really good about our chances, don't you, Sky? 973 00:48:53,131 --> 00:48:55,200 Do you hear something, Dylan? No. 974 00:48:55,233 --> 00:48:56,601 'Cause it sounds like someone I used to go out with 975 00:48:56,634 --> 00:48:58,003 acting like we're still going out, (CHUCKLES) 976 00:48:58,036 --> 00:48:59,637 even though we're definitely not. 977 00:48:59,670 --> 00:49:01,139 DYLAN: Definitely not. 978 00:49:01,372 --> 00:49:02,974 No. Game over. 979 00:49:03,008 --> 00:49:05,376 (DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA PLAYING) 980 00:49:06,677 --> 00:49:08,413 * The devil went down to Georgia 981 00:49:08,446 --> 00:49:10,115 * He was looking for a soul to steal 982 00:49:10,381 --> 00:49:12,683 * He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind 983 00:49:12,717 --> 00:49:14,185 * And he was willing to make a deal 984 00:49:14,385 --> 00:49:16,487 * When he came across this young man 985 00:49:16,521 --> 00:49:18,489 * Sawing on a fiddle and playing it hot 986 00:49:18,523 --> 00:49:20,225 * And the devil jumped up on a hickory stump 987 00:49:20,258 --> 00:49:21,526 * And said, "Boy, let me tell you what" 988 00:49:23,661 --> 00:49:25,063 * And the devil's in you and the devil's in me Uh, la, la, la. 989 00:49:25,096 --> 00:49:25,496 * And the devil's got a big hard... * 990 00:49:25,530 --> 00:49:26,664 Maria! 991 00:49:26,697 --> 00:49:27,999 (CHUCKLING) 992 00:49:28,599 --> 00:49:30,435 Thank you, Maria. Thank you. 993 00:49:36,141 --> 00:49:38,043 Next up we have, um, Mary Katherine... 994 00:49:38,076 --> 00:49:39,610 Gallagher! Mary Katherine Gallagher. 995 00:49:40,778 --> 00:49:43,114 Mary Katherine Gallagher. Mary Katherine Gallagher. 996 00:49:43,148 --> 00:49:45,416 FATHER RITLEY: Okay, just stand there. Here. Stand here. 997 00:49:45,450 --> 00:49:47,985 Come. Stand there. Stand there. That's good. 998 00:49:48,819 --> 00:49:50,221 (GIRLS GIGGLE) 999 00:49:50,255 --> 00:49:52,390 So, what are you going to do for us, Mary? 1000 00:49:53,124 --> 00:49:56,661 I just want to say that I'm multitalented, 1001 00:49:56,694 --> 00:49:59,697 but today I've chosen to express myself through song. 1002 00:50:02,433 --> 00:50:03,701 Okay. 1003 00:50:07,072 --> 00:50:09,540 * You (PIANO PLAYING) 1004 00:50:09,574 --> 00:50:13,744 * You ask me if I love you 1005 00:50:14,312 --> 00:50:18,049 * And I choke on my reply 1006 00:50:19,184 --> 00:50:24,155 * I'd rather tell you honestly 1007 00:50:24,189 --> 00:50:28,659 * Than mislead you with a lie 1008 00:50:30,128 --> 00:50:33,564 * And sometimes when we touch 1009 00:50:34,332 --> 00:50:37,535 * The honesty's too much 1010 00:50:38,769 --> 00:50:42,607 * I have to close my eyes 1011 00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:46,544 * And hide 1012 00:50:46,877 --> 00:50:50,315 * I wanna hold you till I die 1013 00:50:51,216 --> 00:50:54,485 * Till we both break down 1014 00:50:54,519 --> 00:50:56,521 * And cry 1015 00:50:57,488 --> 00:51:01,592 * I wanna hold you 1016 00:51:02,293 --> 00:51:06,297 * Till the fear in me 1017 00:51:06,697 --> 00:51:10,268 * Subsides 1018 00:51:16,241 --> 00:51:17,308 (CHEERING) 1019 00:51:19,177 --> 00:51:20,811 Mary, that was... That was good. 1020 00:51:21,379 --> 00:51:22,647 (APPLAUSE CONTINUES) 1021 00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:23,681 Good. 1022 00:51:24,149 --> 00:51:25,350 Superstar! 1023 00:51:34,559 --> 00:51:35,660 (GASPS) 1024 00:51:35,693 --> 00:51:36,694 Yeah! 1025 00:51:40,331 --> 00:51:41,332 (LAUGHS) 1026 00:51:49,407 --> 00:51:50,841 (DYLAN LAUGHS) 1027 00:51:52,177 --> 00:51:53,611 (LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY) 1028 00:51:54,712 --> 00:51:55,580 Shut up! 1029 00:51:55,613 --> 00:51:57,815 You said you liked the movie Carrie. 1030 00:51:57,848 --> 00:51:59,817 How do you like it now, Mary? 1031 00:51:59,850 --> 00:52:01,552 Retard! Shut up. 1032 00:52:01,952 --> 00:52:03,554 DYLAN: Bullshit! Shut up! 1033 00:52:04,955 --> 00:52:06,624 Retard! 1034 00:52:08,726 --> 00:52:10,728 This is not funny. Shut up, man! 1035 00:52:10,761 --> 00:52:12,163 Mare! Mary! 1036 00:52:14,699 --> 00:52:15,866 Mary? 1037 00:52:15,900 --> 00:52:17,868 (MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVVING) 1038 00:52:17,902 --> 00:52:19,537 (PANTING) 1039 00:52:22,940 --> 00:52:24,309 Mary Katherine, please! 1040 00:52:25,976 --> 00:52:27,345 Mary! 1041 00:53:16,026 --> 00:53:17,628 Slater, would you talk to me? 1042 00:53:18,929 --> 00:53:21,899 Can you please just say something to me, please? 1043 00:53:32,643 --> 00:53:34,545 Your birthmark looks like shit. 1044 00:53:38,048 --> 00:53:40,518 You're the little boy that I saved at the pool? 1045 00:53:40,818 --> 00:53:42,387 Yeah. 1046 00:53:47,925 --> 00:53:50,227 So why does everyone think you're crazy? 1047 00:53:52,830 --> 00:53:56,634 Because (STUTTERS) I never talk. 1048 00:53:57,001 --> 00:53:59,704 So people make up stories. 1049 00:54:00,438 --> 00:54:04,008 And I'd rather that they're scared of me than... 1050 00:54:05,510 --> 00:54:08,679 (STUTTERS) Make fun of my stutter. 1051 00:54:09,547 --> 00:54:10,448 Yeah. 1052 00:54:10,481 --> 00:54:12,683 So what really happened to your parents? 1053 00:54:12,917 --> 00:54:15,320 They were savagely ripped apart 1054 00:54:15,353 --> 00:54:19,023 and eaten by a school of hammerhead sharks. 1055 00:54:20,758 --> 00:54:23,260 That happens a lot. Yeah. 1056 00:54:23,894 --> 00:54:25,796 Hey, Slater, 1057 00:54:25,830 --> 00:54:28,433 I know I haven't known you that long or anything, but... 1058 00:54:29,099 --> 00:54:31,001 Can I ask you a question? 1059 00:54:31,502 --> 00:54:32,737 Yeah. 1060 00:54:33,838 --> 00:54:35,940 Do you think I'm pretty? 1061 00:54:37,475 --> 00:54:39,043 Sometimes I just... 1062 00:54:40,545 --> 00:54:42,580 (VOICE BREAKS) I just hate the way I am. 1063 00:54:42,613 --> 00:54:43,714 (SNIFFLES) 1064 00:54:44,849 --> 00:54:46,451 I just hate the way I am. 1065 00:54:49,887 --> 00:54:51,722 I'm sorry I almost drowned you. 1066 00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:58,996 That's all right. I was probably drowning before you got there. 1067 00:55:00,865 --> 00:55:03,401 I'm a horrible swimmer. (CHUCKLING) Really? 1068 00:55:04,735 --> 00:55:06,003 That's funny. 1069 00:55:08,973 --> 00:55:10,341 Mary? 1070 00:55:12,610 --> 00:55:15,513 I think you look great. 1071 00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:18,048 I think you look beautiful. 1072 00:55:23,954 --> 00:55:25,890 Well, I'm going to go wash off. 1073 00:55:25,923 --> 00:55:26,957 Do you want to come with me? 1074 00:55:30,795 --> 00:55:31,929 Okay. 1075 00:55:38,869 --> 00:55:40,371 What are you doing? 1076 00:55:40,405 --> 00:55:42,507 Uh, (STAMMERS) testing the water. 1077 00:55:43,574 --> 00:55:45,876 There's two ways that you can get into the water. 1078 00:55:46,110 --> 00:55:48,746 That way or... 1079 00:55:48,779 --> 00:55:49,914 This way! (INHALES) 1080 00:55:59,790 --> 00:56:00,958 (INHALES) 1081 00:56:08,198 --> 00:56:09,667 (MUMBLES) 1082 00:56:16,974 --> 00:56:18,409 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 1083 00:56:22,980 --> 00:56:24,682 (BRAKES SCREECH) Well. (CHUCKLES) 1084 00:56:25,583 --> 00:56:26,817 It's late. 1085 00:56:29,153 --> 00:56:30,921 This is my house. 1086 00:56:30,955 --> 00:56:32,723 So, thanks. 1087 00:56:33,624 --> 00:56:34,559 Hey, Slater. 1088 00:56:35,159 --> 00:56:37,828 Did you really mean it when you said that... 1089 00:56:37,862 --> 00:56:39,430 You thought I looked beautiful? 1090 00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:41,832 Yeah. 1091 00:56:41,866 --> 00:56:45,135 Do you think that even without the talent show, 1092 00:56:45,169 --> 00:56:46,971 Sky would still want to kiss me? 1093 00:56:51,542 --> 00:56:56,113 I think Sky would have to be (STUTTERS) crazy not to want to kiss you. 1094 00:56:58,015 --> 00:56:58,916 Really? 1095 00:56:59,917 --> 00:57:02,119 Oh! Thanks. 1096 00:57:03,554 --> 00:57:07,091 I'll, uh, see you later, Mary. 1097 00:57:07,124 --> 00:57:08,693 (ENGINE REVS) 1098 00:57:10,595 --> 00:57:12,530 Oh, God. 1099 00:57:13,998 --> 00:57:17,768 Thank you so much for making Slater my friend. 1100 00:57:18,969 --> 00:57:21,539 And please, God, forgive me... 1101 00:57:21,572 --> 00:57:24,509 For not telling Slater that I went to the bathroom in the pool tonight. 1102 00:57:27,144 --> 00:57:29,647 * I had a dream 1103 00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:33,884 * A dream about you, baby 1104 00:57:34,284 --> 00:57:35,720 Hi, Grandma. 1105 00:57:35,753 --> 00:57:38,155 * It's gonna come true, baby * 1106 00:57:38,623 --> 00:57:39,857 Sorry I'm late. 1107 00:57:39,890 --> 00:57:43,861 Stayed at school to study business, 1108 00:57:44,094 --> 00:57:45,730 and I lost track of time. 1109 00:57:45,763 --> 00:57:47,464 GRANDMA: Father Ritley called. 1110 00:57:49,033 --> 00:57:51,902 He told me you tried out for the talent show. 1111 00:57:52,302 --> 00:57:55,906 I'm sorry. I never should have done that. 1112 00:57:56,641 --> 00:57:59,109 I promise I'll never lie to you again, okay? 1113 00:57:59,777 --> 00:58:00,878 You made it. 1114 00:58:01,078 --> 00:58:02,212 Made what? 1115 00:58:02,913 --> 00:58:04,749 You passed the audition. 1116 00:58:04,782 --> 00:58:07,618 I did? I did! 1117 00:58:07,652 --> 00:58:09,654 Oh, my goodness! (LAUGHING) 1118 00:58:10,287 --> 00:58:11,889 Really? I did? 1119 00:58:11,922 --> 00:58:15,593 But they want you to lose the end with the paint. 1120 00:58:15,626 --> 00:58:16,794 Really? 1121 00:58:17,928 --> 00:58:18,395 Grandma, please let me do it. Please let me do it. 1122 00:58:18,428 --> 00:58:19,396 Please let me do it. 1123 00:58:19,429 --> 00:58:22,667 I can't let you be in any talent show, Mary. 1124 00:58:24,835 --> 00:58:27,071 But I can help you to star in one. 1125 00:58:28,138 --> 00:58:29,674 You see that there? 1126 00:58:29,707 --> 00:58:32,543 I danced in that show on Broadway. 1127 00:58:33,243 --> 00:58:35,179 And these dead stems 1128 00:58:35,212 --> 00:58:37,548 used to step-ball-change 1129 00:58:37,582 --> 00:58:40,150 two shows a day six days a week. 1130 00:58:41,652 --> 00:58:43,654 If you're going on the stage, Mary, 1131 00:58:43,854 --> 00:58:46,290 I don't want you stinking up the place 1132 00:58:46,323 --> 00:58:48,559 with some paint dance. 1133 00:58:48,759 --> 00:58:51,095 Oh, Grandma, you don't know how much this means to me. 1134 00:58:51,128 --> 00:58:53,097 Because there's this boy at school... 1135 00:58:53,130 --> 00:58:54,098 No boys. 1136 00:58:55,165 --> 00:58:57,201 If you're going to do this, 1137 00:58:57,234 --> 00:59:00,571 you're going to do it for yourself, like I did. 1138 00:59:03,974 --> 00:59:05,175 Higher. Kick higher! 1139 00:59:05,209 --> 00:59:06,977 I can't. It's hard. 1140 00:59:08,145 --> 00:59:09,814 Razzle, dazzle! 1141 00:59:09,847 --> 00:59:11,081 I don't know what that means. 1142 00:59:11,115 --> 00:59:12,349 Windmill, windmill! 1143 00:59:12,382 --> 00:59:13,718 BOTH: Windmill, windmill. 1144 00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:16,987 (LOUD CRASH) 1145 00:59:18,355 --> 00:59:20,124 (WHIMPERS) MARY: Oh, Frances! 1146 00:59:20,758 --> 00:59:22,960 Sweet Frances, please don't die. 1147 00:59:23,861 --> 00:59:25,963 Frances, Frances, please don't die. 1148 00:59:25,996 --> 00:59:28,733 Frances, go back. She needs you. 1149 00:59:28,766 --> 00:59:29,967 (WHIMPERS) Go back! 1150 00:59:31,001 --> 00:59:33,270 You want to go fetch? Go fetch. 1151 00:59:34,371 --> 00:59:36,140 Go fetch. MARY: Frances. 1152 00:59:36,173 --> 00:59:37,942 That way, my dog friend. Go on. 1153 00:59:38,275 --> 00:59:40,010 Frances. (GROWLING) 1154 00:59:41,345 --> 00:59:43,047 (FRANCES YIPPING) (SCREAMS) 1155 00:59:43,413 --> 00:59:46,150 She's alive! You're all right. 1156 00:59:46,183 --> 00:59:46,984 Super. 1157 00:59:47,652 --> 00:59:48,786 Now, 1158 00:59:48,819 --> 00:59:51,121 if we really want to knock them on their keisters, 1159 00:59:51,155 --> 00:59:52,589 we're going to need a chorus line. 1160 00:59:55,025 --> 00:59:57,594 One, two... (GRUNTING) 1161 00:59:58,228 --> 00:59:59,697 What's his problem? 1162 00:59:59,730 --> 01:00:01,832 I, I got the D.T.s, Mrs. Gallagher. 1163 01:00:02,266 --> 01:00:04,301 D. T.s are from being drunk, not high, you fruit. 1164 01:00:04,735 --> 01:00:06,804 He's got his fake addictions confused, Mrs. Gallagher. 1165 01:00:06,837 --> 01:00:08,172 No, I just... 1166 01:00:08,806 --> 01:00:12,042 I'm just so high I think I'm drunk. 1167 01:00:12,843 --> 01:00:14,011 (WHOOSHING) 1168 01:00:14,411 --> 01:00:17,081 We've got two days to the big show. 1169 01:00:17,114 --> 01:00:20,150 So when I say kick, you want to kick. 1170 01:00:20,184 --> 01:00:21,986 And when I say dip, you dip. 1171 01:00:22,219 --> 01:00:24,321 And when I say tap, you tap. 1172 01:00:24,354 --> 01:00:25,389 And when I say... 1173 01:00:25,422 --> 01:00:26,857 They get it, Grandma. They get it. They get it. 1174 01:00:26,891 --> 01:00:28,158 I've got two more. 1175 01:00:28,192 --> 01:00:31,161 And when I say booga-booga, you booga-booga. 1176 01:00:31,195 --> 01:00:32,362 What's "booga-booga" mean? 1177 01:00:32,396 --> 01:00:33,330 I don't know, 1178 01:00:33,363 --> 01:00:36,066 but if I say it, you better figure it out. 1179 01:00:42,472 --> 01:00:44,809 (CHUCKLING) 1180 01:00:55,252 --> 01:00:58,889 (GROWLING) 1181 01:00:58,923 --> 01:01:02,059 Whoa! 1182 01:01:02,092 --> 01:01:03,828 I slipped. 1183 01:01:04,428 --> 01:01:06,230 Everything's fine. (CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY) 1184 01:01:06,263 --> 01:01:07,197 Slip-a-roo. 1185 01:01:20,510 --> 01:01:22,747 Ooh! 1186 01:01:22,980 --> 01:01:24,014 Yeah! 1187 01:01:26,884 --> 01:01:28,385 (RAIN PATTERING) 1188 01:01:43,868 --> 01:01:46,136 (WHISTLING) 1189 01:01:51,008 --> 01:01:52,342 Superstar! 1190 01:01:59,049 --> 01:02:00,918 MAN: Hi, there! WOMAN: Howdy, neighbor. 1191 01:02:00,951 --> 01:02:01,952 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1192 01:02:02,186 --> 01:02:03,353 MAN 2: Un-deviled eggs! 1193 01:02:04,822 --> 01:02:06,290 Lady crucifingers! 1194 01:02:06,824 --> 01:02:08,525 There's my grandmother. Oh, my god. 1195 01:02:08,558 --> 01:02:11,028 MAN 2: It's all Mary Mag-delicious. 1196 01:02:11,061 --> 01:02:13,163 Look, there's Maria's parents. 1197 01:02:13,197 --> 01:02:14,832 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) 1198 01:02:14,865 --> 01:02:16,433 (PIANO PLAYING AN INTRO) (GASPS) 1199 01:02:17,501 --> 01:02:19,736 (APPLAUSE) (PIANO INTRO ENDS) 1200 01:02:20,437 --> 01:02:21,705 Oh. Good evening, 1201 01:02:22,406 --> 01:02:25,776 uh, everyone! Welcome to St. Monica's Catholic High School. 1202 01:02:25,810 --> 01:02:27,211 (GIRLS WHOOPING) 1203 01:02:27,244 --> 01:02:30,314 So, are we all ready to fight VD? 1204 01:02:30,347 --> 01:02:31,481 (ALL CHEERING) 1205 01:02:32,216 --> 01:02:33,417 Love her. 1206 01:02:33,450 --> 01:02:36,553 I hope that you're as excited as I am, 1207 01:02:36,586 --> 01:02:41,025 uh, to see who will win this free trip to Hollywood 1208 01:02:41,058 --> 01:02:43,027 with a chance to appear as an extra 1209 01:02:43,060 --> 01:02:46,096 in a movie with positive moral values. 1210 01:02:49,900 --> 01:02:52,502 Uh, but first, let's not forget 1211 01:02:52,536 --> 01:02:55,906 we would not be here tonight if it wasn't for VD. 1212 01:02:55,940 --> 01:02:58,342 VD Rules! (CHUCKLES) 1213 01:02:59,209 --> 01:03:03,380 A puss-filled, but blistering, 1214 01:03:03,413 --> 01:03:05,349 sinful malady... 1215 01:03:05,382 --> 01:03:07,918 That a few of you may already have come in contact with. 1216 01:03:09,253 --> 01:03:12,990 You must resist, children. Resist the urge 1217 01:03:13,023 --> 01:03:14,224 that lingers in your loins. 1218 01:03:15,359 --> 01:03:17,494 But as the saying goes... 1219 01:03:17,527 --> 01:03:19,529 "Girls have a button and boys have a pole, 1220 01:03:19,563 --> 01:03:21,498 "and wicked touching takes its toll." 1221 01:03:21,531 --> 01:03:24,334 So you must be strong and resist. 1222 01:03:24,368 --> 01:03:27,204 For those who are weak will no doubt one day 1223 01:03:27,237 --> 01:03:30,074 burn and fester in the swollen 1224 01:03:30,107 --> 01:03:33,610 VD infested fiery pits of hell! 1225 01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:37,381 But let's have some fun and meet our judges. Over here... 1226 01:03:37,414 --> 01:03:39,583 (CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) Hey, are you guys ready? 1227 01:03:39,616 --> 01:03:42,386 Mary, we're like really nervous. Yeah. 1228 01:03:42,419 --> 01:03:43,954 What if they make fun of us? 1229 01:03:44,989 --> 01:03:49,359 Okay. I just wanna say one thing to all of you. 1230 01:03:49,393 --> 01:03:51,862 Don't listen to the names that people call you. 1231 01:03:52,096 --> 01:03:55,065 If you believe in yourself, then nobody can hurt you. 1232 01:03:55,399 --> 01:03:57,334 You are your own rainbow. 1233 01:03:57,367 --> 01:03:58,869 Wow. 1234 01:03:58,903 --> 01:04:00,504 That's really insightful. 1235 01:04:00,537 --> 01:04:04,041 That's from The Initiation of Sarah starring Miss Shelley Winters. 1236 01:04:04,074 --> 01:04:05,275 Yeah? Cool. 1237 01:04:05,309 --> 01:04:06,310 Yeah. 1238 01:04:07,611 --> 01:04:09,346 Okay, uh, from Catholic Teen magazine, 1239 01:04:09,579 --> 01:04:11,949 we have their teen gossip columnists, 1240 01:04:11,982 --> 01:04:14,251 George and Moira McDaniels. (APPLAUSE) 1241 01:04:14,284 --> 01:04:15,886 Yeah. Welcome and thanks for joining us. 1242 01:04:16,686 --> 01:04:21,158 (LAUGHS) Well, it's show time here at St. Monica's. 1243 01:04:21,391 --> 01:04:24,528 So let's get things started with our first contestant, 1244 01:04:24,561 --> 01:04:27,464 Howard Feinstein! (APPLAUSE) 1245 01:04:28,966 --> 01:04:32,002 Ladies and gentlemen! 1246 01:04:32,036 --> 01:04:36,640 Tonight, I'm going for The Full Monty. MAN: What? 1247 01:04:36,673 --> 01:04:38,675 (LAUGHS) 1248 01:04:38,708 --> 01:04:42,046 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) * Lookin' for some hot stuff baby, this evenin' 1249 01:04:42,079 --> 01:04:45,282 * I need some hot stuff baby, tonight (GASPS) 1250 01:04:45,315 --> 01:04:47,351 * I want some hot stuff Enough! Come on! 1251 01:04:47,384 --> 01:04:49,319 * Baby, This Evening (LAUGHS) Yeah. 1252 01:04:49,353 --> 01:04:50,554 (APPLAUSE) 1253 01:04:51,655 --> 01:04:53,190 (CONTINUES LAUGHING) 1254 01:04:53,223 --> 01:04:56,660 FATHER RITLEY: Perhaps this would be an opportune time to thank Howard's father. 1255 01:04:59,029 --> 01:05:01,065 (CLEARS THROAT) Hi, Mary. 1256 01:05:01,098 --> 01:05:05,035 The school therapist says I have to apologize, so I'm sorry. 1257 01:05:05,069 --> 01:05:07,972 And, Helen, I'm sorry I made fun of your very hairy lip. 1258 01:05:08,505 --> 01:05:11,308 I was going through a really difficult time, but it's fine now 1259 01:05:11,341 --> 01:05:15,112 because Sky and I are together again, dancing in the show. 1260 01:05:15,145 --> 01:05:19,950 And, um, what I'm really trying to say is... 1261 01:05:22,486 --> 01:05:24,488 Good luck. 1262 01:05:24,521 --> 01:05:25,322 (GROANS) 1263 01:05:26,023 --> 01:05:28,492 Mary, I'm like really sorry 1264 01:05:28,525 --> 01:05:33,097 'cause I know how hard you worked to impress Sky tonight. 1265 01:05:33,130 --> 01:05:35,165 It's okay. 1266 01:05:35,199 --> 01:05:38,235 Tonight is for me, not for Sky. 1267 01:05:54,518 --> 01:05:55,652 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1268 01:05:56,553 --> 01:05:57,988 "Entering?" 1269 01:05:58,522 --> 01:05:59,323 Huh? 1270 01:06:09,566 --> 01:06:11,668 GOD: You're not gonna miss the show, are you? 1271 01:06:14,504 --> 01:06:17,107 Roadside thing's freaking you out, huh? 1272 01:06:17,141 --> 01:06:18,508 Who are you? 1273 01:06:18,542 --> 01:06:21,578 Mary Katherine Gallagher's subconscious idea of God. 1274 01:06:22,646 --> 01:06:24,014 Okay. 1275 01:06:24,048 --> 01:06:25,615 Okay. 1276 01:06:25,649 --> 01:06:27,751 Now just my take on this, 1277 01:06:27,784 --> 01:06:30,254 but you might want to reconsider this bike ride. 1278 01:06:30,487 --> 01:06:31,488 Why? 1279 01:06:31,521 --> 01:06:34,558 Because I'm working in a mysterious way here. 1280 01:06:35,559 --> 01:06:38,395 Man! You noticed how you tried to leave town, 1281 01:06:38,428 --> 01:06:40,664 but it didn't work out, but you just kept on trying? 1282 01:06:40,697 --> 01:06:41,865 Right? 1283 01:06:41,898 --> 01:06:45,735 What say you take that positive attitude and apply it to... 1284 01:06:46,436 --> 01:06:49,005 I don't know. Maybe you could help me. 1285 01:06:49,606 --> 01:06:51,175 Any thoughts? 1286 01:06:54,178 --> 01:06:55,545 Mary! 1287 01:06:55,579 --> 01:06:58,615 You think... (STAMMERS) Mary likes me? 1288 01:06:58,648 --> 01:07:01,551 Why'd I make everyone so insecure? Here's a clue... 1289 01:07:01,585 --> 01:07:03,420 The lord God, 1290 01:07:03,453 --> 01:07:05,822 is materializing on a highway, 1291 01:07:05,855 --> 01:07:08,558 to guide you to her. 1292 01:07:08,592 --> 01:07:13,097 Now look, that's the real road out of Besamee Heights. 1293 01:07:13,130 --> 01:07:15,432 The decision is up to you. 1294 01:07:15,732 --> 01:07:17,033 (SNAPS FINGER) 1295 01:07:18,502 --> 01:07:19,669 (CRICKETS CHIRPING) 1296 01:07:21,638 --> 01:07:23,073 (GRUNTING) 1297 01:07:25,142 --> 01:07:26,343 (APPLAUSE) 1298 01:07:32,349 --> 01:07:34,784 Thank you, Helen. Quite a feat of strength. 1299 01:07:34,818 --> 01:07:38,288 Thanks. (LAUGHING) The amazing Sean! 1300 01:07:38,322 --> 01:07:39,823 My brother. 1301 01:07:39,856 --> 01:07:44,494 Next up, uh, we have Sky Corrigan and Evian Graham. 1302 01:07:44,694 --> 01:07:46,230 (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) 1303 01:07:49,233 --> 01:07:51,201 I just want everyone to know... 1304 01:07:51,235 --> 01:07:53,703 That even though Evian and I are dancing together, 1305 01:07:53,737 --> 01:07:55,739 we're still broken up. BOY: Yeah! 1306 01:07:55,772 --> 01:07:57,507 Repeat... Broken up. 1307 01:07:58,208 --> 01:07:59,743 Thank you. (APPLAUSE) 1308 01:08:02,512 --> 01:08:04,381 (BAMBOLEO BY THE GYPSY KINGS PLAYING) 1309 01:08:04,414 --> 01:08:05,515 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1310 01:08:12,522 --> 01:08:13,523 (GRUNTING) 1311 01:08:17,661 --> 01:08:21,165 (MAN SINGING IN SPANISH) 1312 01:08:21,698 --> 01:08:22,632 Huh! 1313 01:08:22,932 --> 01:08:24,268 (SCREAMING) 1314 01:08:26,670 --> 01:08:27,804 (EXCLAIMING) 1315 01:08:34,278 --> 01:08:35,812 You know you want me back. 1316 01:08:36,246 --> 01:08:38,682 We're dancing together, but we've grown apart. 1317 01:08:38,715 --> 01:08:40,417 Five, six, seven, eight. 1318 01:08:40,917 --> 01:08:42,186 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1319 01:08:42,952 --> 01:08:44,521 (MUSIC CONTINUES OUTSIDE) 1320 01:08:44,554 --> 01:08:46,523 (WHISPERING) Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. 1321 01:08:46,556 --> 01:08:48,258 It has been two days since my last confession. 1322 01:08:48,292 --> 01:08:49,626 What? 1323 01:08:49,659 --> 01:08:52,229 Mary Katherine, aren't you supposed to be in the show tonight? 1324 01:08:52,262 --> 01:08:53,830 Father, you're not supposed to say my name. 1325 01:08:54,331 --> 01:08:56,400 Oh. Yep. Okay. 1326 01:08:56,966 --> 01:08:58,768 Go ahead. Okay. 1327 01:08:59,269 --> 01:09:00,804 I feel really bad because... 1328 01:09:01,305 --> 01:09:03,873 I've committed a sin of selfishness. 1329 01:09:03,907 --> 01:09:08,278 All my life I've asked God to make me a star, every day. 1330 01:09:08,745 --> 01:09:10,580 I'm always thinking of myself. 1331 01:09:10,814 --> 01:09:13,517 And tonight, I just want him to know that... 1332 01:09:13,717 --> 01:09:16,220 It's okay if he never does that for me. 1333 01:09:16,453 --> 01:09:18,188 It's all right. 1334 01:09:18,455 --> 01:09:20,424 I promise I'll never ask for anything again 1335 01:09:20,457 --> 01:09:22,692 if he just does this one thing for me tonight. 1336 01:09:22,726 --> 01:09:23,860 And what is that, my child? 1337 01:09:25,195 --> 01:09:27,897 Please just get me through tonight safely for my grandmother. 1338 01:09:28,465 --> 01:09:32,602 Watch over me so that I can watch over her. 1339 01:09:34,003 --> 01:09:36,873 Mary, it's time to go on stage. Go. 1340 01:09:37,641 --> 01:09:40,277 Use the gifts God gave you. 1341 01:09:45,682 --> 01:09:47,217 (AUDIENCE WHOOPING) 1342 01:09:48,017 --> 01:09:49,719 (SONG ENDS) (APPLAUSE) 1343 01:09:52,021 --> 01:09:53,357 GIRLS: Yeah! 1344 01:09:56,260 --> 01:09:57,461 (LAUGHS) 1345 01:09:58,027 --> 01:09:59,229 (SQUEALING) 1346 01:10:00,397 --> 01:10:01,598 (STRUGGLING) 1347 01:10:01,631 --> 01:10:02,666 Mmm, mmm, mmm. 1348 01:10:03,500 --> 01:10:05,935 FATHER RITLEY: All right. Um... 1349 01:10:07,371 --> 01:10:09,739 Our last contestant tonight... (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1350 01:10:09,773 --> 01:10:12,276 Mary Katherine Gallagher. 1351 01:10:14,878 --> 01:10:15,879 (SNIFFLES) 1352 01:10:28,292 --> 01:10:31,695 * Sometimes I wonder 1353 01:10:32,296 --> 01:10:35,231 * Where I've been 1354 01:10:36,366 --> 01:10:38,802 * Who I am 1355 01:10:39,469 --> 01:10:42,539 * Do I fit in 1356 01:10:42,806 --> 01:10:44,408 You suck! (SNICKERING) 1357 01:10:45,775 --> 01:10:47,711 * Make-believing 1358 01:10:47,977 --> 01:10:51,415 * Is hard alone 1359 01:10:52,516 --> 01:10:54,651 * Out here 1360 01:10:54,918 --> 01:10:58,422 * On my own 1361 01:10:58,455 --> 01:11:00,357 (PIANO ACCOMPANIES) 1362 01:11:02,326 --> 01:11:04,861 * We're always provin' 1363 01:11:05,094 --> 01:11:09,399 * Who we are 1364 01:11:09,699 --> 01:11:11,801 * Always reachin' 1365 01:11:12,536 --> 01:11:15,572 * For that rising star 1366 01:11:16,706 --> 01:11:19,443 * To guide me far 1367 01:11:19,876 --> 01:11:22,379 * And shine me home 1368 01:11:23,513 --> 01:11:25,582 * Out here 1369 01:11:26,516 --> 01:11:32,322 * On my own 1370 01:11:33,723 --> 01:11:35,024 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1371 01:11:41,998 --> 01:11:43,433 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1372 01:11:46,770 --> 01:11:49,706 * When I'm down and feelin' blue 1373 01:11:49,739 --> 01:11:52,709 * I close my eyes so I can be with you 1374 01:11:52,742 --> 01:11:55,845 * Baby, be strong for me baby, belong to me 1375 01:11:55,879 --> 01:11:58,815 * Help me through * Help her through 1376 01:11:58,848 --> 01:12:00,584 * Help me through 1377 01:12:04,754 --> 01:12:06,022 DANCERS: Pop! 1378 01:12:07,090 --> 01:12:09,459 Bam! Pow! 1379 01:12:11,495 --> 01:12:13,630 (NEEDLE SKIDS ON RECORD) Ah. Oh. 1380 01:12:13,663 --> 01:12:14,931 (TEMPO INCREASES) 1381 01:12:16,433 --> 01:12:17,634 Wait. 1382 01:12:21,838 --> 01:12:23,473 Mary, it's too fast. 1383 01:12:23,507 --> 01:12:24,808 Just keep going. 1384 01:12:25,174 --> 01:12:26,610 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) 1385 01:12:29,913 --> 01:12:30,780 (GROANS) 1386 01:12:48,465 --> 01:12:50,667 GOD: Mary! 1387 01:12:53,637 --> 01:12:54,904 Get up, Mary! 1388 01:12:55,972 --> 01:12:56,940 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1389 01:13:02,946 --> 01:13:04,414 Get up! You can do it! 1390 01:13:09,619 --> 01:13:10,587 (SCOFFS) 1391 01:13:11,020 --> 01:13:12,155 HOWARD: (WHISPERING) We don't know what to do. 1392 01:13:12,188 --> 01:13:13,623 It's okay. It's okay. 1393 01:13:18,495 --> 01:13:19,496 (SHUDDERING) 1394 01:13:21,865 --> 01:13:23,700 BOY: What do we do? 1395 01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:25,401 Just follow me. 1396 01:13:26,903 --> 01:13:29,439 (DISCO MUSIC BEGINS) Follow Mary, you guys. 1397 01:13:32,208 --> 01:13:33,577 (PEOPLE GASPING) 1398 01:13:34,478 --> 01:13:35,645 (ALL WHOOPING) 1399 01:13:37,113 --> 01:13:38,448 (APPLAUSE) 1400 01:13:45,922 --> 01:13:46,923 (GRUNTING) 1401 01:13:51,628 --> 01:13:52,629 (CHUCKLING) 1402 01:13:55,865 --> 01:13:56,966 (WHOOPING) 1403 01:14:00,670 --> 01:14:01,771 (GIGGLING) 1404 01:14:06,042 --> 01:14:07,043 Yeah. 1405 01:14:10,146 --> 01:14:11,147 Whoo! 1406 01:14:15,885 --> 01:14:17,020 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1407 01:14:21,190 --> 01:14:22,592 Yeah! (SONG ENDS) 1408 01:14:22,626 --> 01:14:23,893 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1409 01:14:28,131 --> 01:14:29,198 Yeah! 1410 01:14:29,766 --> 01:14:30,767 (CHUCKLING) 1411 01:14:31,535 --> 01:14:32,536 (LAUGHING) 1412 01:14:33,069 --> 01:14:34,070 (CHUCKLING) 1413 01:14:38,174 --> 01:14:39,543 Yeah! 1414 01:14:40,644 --> 01:14:42,245 Are you ready? Good. 1415 01:14:42,912 --> 01:14:44,013 Good. 1416 01:14:44,047 --> 01:14:45,114 (GIGGLING) 1417 01:14:45,148 --> 01:14:48,618 Well, I'm pleased to announce that the winner 1418 01:14:48,652 --> 01:14:52,188 of the Catholic Teen magazine's free trip to Hollywood 1419 01:14:52,221 --> 01:14:54,724 with a chance to appear as an extra 1420 01:14:54,758 --> 01:14:57,961 in a movie with positive moral values 1421 01:14:57,994 --> 01:15:01,030 is Mary Katherine Gallagher. 1422 01:15:01,064 --> 01:15:01,998 (SQUEALING) 1423 01:15:02,031 --> 01:15:03,032 (SCREAMING) 1424 01:15:03,933 --> 01:15:05,101 Ha-ha! 1425 01:15:06,035 --> 01:15:07,236 What? 1426 01:15:08,938 --> 01:15:10,073 (EXULTING) 1427 01:15:13,176 --> 01:15:14,611 (INDISTINCT) 1428 01:15:15,344 --> 01:15:16,913 Evian. Hey. 1429 01:15:18,081 --> 01:15:20,550 I just wanted to say that I think 1430 01:15:20,584 --> 01:15:23,019 you did a really good job up there tonight. 1431 01:15:23,052 --> 01:15:25,154 You showed a lot of energy and enthusiasm, and I... 1432 01:15:25,188 --> 01:15:28,658 I really like your choice of costume. (CHUCKLES LIGHTLY) 1433 01:15:28,692 --> 01:15:31,728 But I just feel really bad for you, 'cause I guess... 1434 01:15:31,761 --> 01:15:34,230 You didn't know that you were competing against a... 1435 01:15:34,263 --> 01:15:35,732 Superstar! 1436 01:15:37,033 --> 01:15:38,167 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1437 01:15:38,201 --> 01:15:39,202 (SCOFFS) 1438 01:15:40,369 --> 01:15:41,571 Yes! 1439 01:15:42,138 --> 01:15:42,939 (GRUNTS) 1440 01:15:47,877 --> 01:15:48,978 Hey, Mary. 1441 01:15:49,378 --> 01:15:50,714 Hey. 1442 01:15:51,080 --> 01:15:53,116 You really do have some nice moves. 1443 01:15:53,883 --> 01:15:55,084 Thanks. 1444 01:15:56,385 --> 01:15:57,587 (INHALES DEEPLY) 1445 01:16:13,770 --> 01:16:14,771 (GASPS) 1446 01:16:19,175 --> 01:16:20,877 So what did you think of that? 1447 01:16:22,679 --> 01:16:23,980 It was okay. 1448 01:16:28,184 --> 01:16:29,185 (CHUCKLING LIGHTLY) 1449 01:16:32,188 --> 01:16:34,323 (WHISPERING) It was bad. (RETCHES) 1450 01:16:35,024 --> 01:16:36,292 (LAUGHING) 1451 01:16:38,161 --> 01:16:40,163 MARY: So I let Sky go, 1452 01:16:41,164 --> 01:16:43,967 and I figured it was time to let my dream go, too. 1453 01:16:44,834 --> 01:16:46,903 'Cause maybe that's all it would ever be... 1454 01:16:47,436 --> 01:16:48,972 A dream. 1455 01:16:50,139 --> 01:16:51,607 Or maybe not. 1456 01:16:52,809 --> 01:16:54,744 You said to jump in. 1457 01:17:01,350 --> 01:17:05,221 I'm outta here. (BLOWS) 1458 01:17:07,791 --> 01:17:10,359 What are you? Gay? Five times more gay than you think. 1459 01:17:10,393 --> 01:17:11,895 Four more to go, peaches. 1460 01:17:27,310 --> 01:17:29,078 MARY: And that's my story. 1461 01:17:30,246 --> 01:17:33,449 That's my entire story. (CHUCKLES) 1462 01:17:33,482 --> 01:17:37,653 I wanted you to know so that you would understand why I can't see you anymore. 1463 01:17:38,454 --> 01:17:41,691 So... I guess this is good-bye. 1464 01:17:41,725 --> 01:17:42,959 (CHUCKLING) 1465 01:17:43,927 --> 01:17:45,995 What are you saying? 1466 01:17:46,262 --> 01:17:48,031 You want a good-bye what? 1467 01:17:49,232 --> 01:17:51,067 No, I can't. 1468 01:17:51,500 --> 01:17:55,438 I can't. (LAUGHS) I'm seeing Slater now. 1469 01:17:57,506 --> 01:17:59,843 Oh, you're so bad. 1470 01:18:00,209 --> 01:18:02,712 Okay, just one for the road. 1471 01:18:03,012 --> 01:18:04,247 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1472 01:18:06,382 --> 01:18:07,817 (MOANING)